First insemination is coming up. First ultrasound in a series of many is tomorrow. At first she told me I had to do the ultrasound on the second day of AF. Can you say I was more than disgusted I don’t want to deal with AF let alone sharing it with someone else. Well she said I can do the first ultrasound tomorrow. AF will be here soon.
Every time I think of something negative, I say something positive out loud I will conceive. I will have healthy children. I will have financial security. I have been overloading my friends with my concerns. Everyone has been good about listening to me. The best advice I got was saying something positive after thinking something negative. That is all to my friend D. I appreciate that!!
A lot is going through my mind. I am not coming back to work after the procedure I am going to use that time to think and pray. I might back to that park I found and walk around. Walking the trail will clear my mind. It is hard to think on a treadmill
in a gym. I am sending a thank you to everyone who has been there for me. I have surely got some great people rooting for me!!!
The bank approved my short sale. But (there is always a but) they counter at 10k more than what was offered. So my buyer is gone. All is not lost. I need to find a new buyer. My house has been posted again and I am praying a new buyer will appear quickly.
My realtor said we have a time limit. If I can not find a buyer then I have to do the process again. Which I don’t want to do that. Please old Please buyer appear. It is still a great deal!! I am working on staying positive and letting good things happen. I am nervous. I always been told fear and faith doesn’t work in the same heart.
I need more faith and less fear!!
My doctor friend is trying to convince me to visit him in PA. I am not a risk taker. He is a stranger. I don’t feel he is serial killer, but who knows. We have talked on and off for three years. I am sticking to my guns he needs to come see me. I watch too much T.V. with all these random missing women. I refuse to be on unsolved mysteries. When I go on dates now I make sure and give someone the guys information. He has me in fantasy mode again. Why is it so hard for me to stay out of that place. He makes a lot of money as a surgeon. I started talking to him when he was a broke resident. Money doesn’t sway me. I am not materialistic at all. Even if I had money I wouldn’t spend it willy nilly and on unneccessary things. He has a very expensive truck. I told him I would want a Honda regardless of how much money I have. They are good Cars/Trucks and last.
I am like my grandmother in that area. My grandmother was not poor at all. She owned several properties and a summer home. She could also be seen in the goodwill looking for a good deal. That was Nana, and I am just like her. I don’t own one designer thing. With being six feet tall I buy what fits and looks good. I could careless whose name is on it. Also I refuse to spend a lot of money on anything.
I know a few people who brand drop. Meaning I have Coach bag. Or this Donna Karen. Well yah for them it doesn’t impress or move me at all. My pocketbook could be worth ten bucks and I am just as happy with it. That is me and I don’t fault people for who they are.
Back to the fantasy Doctor dude is throwing out the if we get married situation. I might have started it but he put his two cents in. He said I wouldn’t have to work!! You know that is music to my ears. I would do something. I am not the sit at home type of chick. Not having to report to a job would be winning the lottery ten times over. That is the fantasy in my mind. I have to meet this man in person and see if we vibe. There are several steps that need to happen before marriage. Granted I have heard the story of they met and three days later are married. I sincerely doubt that will ever be my story. I can’t predict the future but I don’t see it.
On a lighter note I had a presentation today. I nailed it. I was so nervous my hand was shaking but they couldn’t see it. I got claps and someone mentioned how I do a great job. It was really nice and uplifting. I haven’t done a presentation since 1995 in college. I did well even with the fears. I have to say I am really glad it is over and done with. It has been on my mind for three weeks. Now I can free up those brain waves for something else. Something non stressful would be great!!