How this started!!

I was talking to my mom years ago. I am so bad with dates and they all seem to run into each other. Lets just say years ago. She told me about the movie and book The Secret. She saw it on Oprah  She was really into. I totally brushed it off. I am not a big fan of Oprah. Long story.

Years past and I meet this guy online  We had a great date. I wasn’t attracted to him and wanted to be friends. I really thought that wasn’t going to happen because it sounded like rejection. To my surprise he agreed. He told me I had a lot of positive energy. I thought this man was totally nuts. Then he brought up the movie The Secret.

He told me that book was the tip of the iceberg. There was a lot more to learn. I had the energy to make great things happen. He invited me over to his house. We were now friends and he seemed cool.

He gave me a book. I was shocked, he met me once and ordered a book for me. 51cX2MApMFL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_I started reading it. Actually studying it. He told me not to read it like a novel. So I was reading it with my notebook and pen. I was intrigued. I also realized how many negative thoughts go through my head in a day. I was astounded on how negative I really was. I decided to work on it. If I thought of something negative I would counter it with a positive thought. I was getting pretty good. Also me and the guy would talk and he began to guide me. Things seemed to flow in my life. It seemed to happen all of a sudden. I couldn’t believe circumstance after circumstance just worked my way.

The guy and I fell out of contact. I felt he was getting to intense for me. Now thinking back it was me not him. I didn’t want to do the work anymore. I regret letting that relationship go. When he gave me the book, that week I went to a neighbor’s house.

My cable had went out and I wanted to borrow some movies. I was going through all his movies and THE SECRET was in his collection. I was in shocked. I asked him why he has the movie. He said it was for his mom. I immediately borrowed it, thinking this was not a coincidence this was meant for me to see.download

Reading the book first and then watching The Secret I could see what this guy was saying. The movie gives you an overview. The book actually lays it out for you.

Of course even after all the good things were happening, I got lazy and totally fell off.  Why do I let go of things that totally bring me good. I have no answer!!

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Then I was talking to a friend and she mentioned a book a friend gave to her.

It was similar principles that was in the book about the laws of attraction I read years before. It also came with a CD so I didn’t have to read it. I could just listen. How great wast that. It feed right into my laziness. I started listening to the CD as soon as it came from Amazon. I was so into it I got a lot of people on board. My mother my aunt, cousin, and anyone else who would listen to my new crazy obsession.

Of course again I fell off. The funny thing is my mother did not. She will quote things to me from the book.

Now the Hypnotherapist and I had an intense conversation about my working with the law. She told me to pick it back up. She gave me a CD that she produced for her clients to listen to for stress reduction.

Me being me, I had to find more. I found several Hypnosis video’s on YouTube  This one is my favorite. .

Okay to show how even more of a freak I am. I thought what could be more convincing then my own voice. I started making my own hypnosis video. I know I am in the special people club.

So hopefully that answers my readers questions. Thank you for the question by the way.  I think all this was worth a blog!!

Sperm Donor X: A Different Conception

Oocyte viewed with HMC

Image via Wikipedia

I found another documentary for single mother‘s by choice. This movie was screened at the 30th anniversary conference. I really liked this documentary. If the housing market was worth anything I would do exactly what the woman did in the movie. She took a second mortgage on the house and had her children.

I give this movie an A+. It was very honest, real and touching. I felt all her emotions. There were several women depicted in the movie. I found this movie on the SMBC website under there forum section. I love that I streamed it to my computer for five bucks. Here is the link if anyone is interested. The video is located here.

It was nice to see how she choose her sperm donor. I felt I went through the whole process with her. She had a relationship that was up and down through the whole process. She even considered making him her child’s father for her last chance not to do it alone. Wow that was powerful because I feel the exact same way.

She did end up doing it alone and had major issues she had to deal with. When she stated she was in 30K worth of debt to have her children. My mind was running and sad for my small savings account, my house with no equity, and my 401k that isn’t worth shit. I have nowhere to pull this money. Also these credit cards with their ridiculous interests rates.

Not all the women in the movie ended up with children. I felt their pain also. This movie hit many topics. Picking a sperm donor. Going through the process and not achieving success. Switching to IVF because IUI weren’t working. The debt you incur and still could be babyless.

I watched this movie twice yesterday. I know something will open up for me to make this happen. I am staying positive. My food has been clean for seven days. I feel lighter and positive. I am going to stay focus and I know things will go my way. My faith is increasing. Finally light at the end of the tunnel.