600+ Million dollars!!

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The lottery is going crazy. I have to say I thought I would be worse. I bought two tickets and I am in the lottery pool at work. I have not had the urge to buy a whole bunch of tickets. I guess I know the statistics of me winning is so damn week.

I did win on one of my scratch tickets. I haven’t looked at what I won yet. It is funny a co-worker 15-year-old son told her she had better odds with scratch tickets. From the mouth of babes. He is totally right in my opinion.

I am so damn happy it is Friday!!! I can’t wait to get off work. I don’t know why I am in a rush. I have a class that starts at 8am Saturday morning. It is a get my life together type of class. So I am going to be there with bells on.

Mr Shitty paints and I will have to hit the bed early for a Friday night!! I keep thinking about Massachusetts. How my life will change and what will happen when I get there.

When I make a choice to do something I want it now. I don’t have an ounce of patients!! I keep reading about women having fertility issues. Women who are younger than I am. I need to stop filling my head with negativity. I haven’t even started the process yet!!

When I get out of my house I am starting acupuncture again for sure!!

Ex’s of Christmas past!

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This must be the week of my ex’s resurfacing. Another ex called me last night. We are friends and I usually call him every six months or so to see if he is ok.

Well he called out the blue. I was shocked. I told him my plans of moving home and having a baby. He said I should re think this. I told him has he ever known me to not have  plan. I am a very responsible person. I know this short sale is going to ruin my credit. I also know I will never make back the 60K my house is upside down. I know I will never be able to afford a baby in GA. I didn’t need his you need to think about it advise. I know he cares and that he had no malice. None of my decisions were made lightly.

He said I thought you would get married and have kids. My first thought is your ass didn’t want to marry me. What made you think I was so enticing to others. I thought I would be married and have kids also. I am not far from 40 and that shit didn’t happen. So I am moving to plan B. If I have to explain to one more person that this is not how I want it to be, I am going to scream. Thank god for my single mother by choice friends. They seem to be the only ones that understand my position.

I don’t have to justify myself to him. Also he knew I was serious and let it go in a matter of minutes. He said he can’t believe I am moving home. He never thought that would happen. Well damn I didn’t either. I have to do what I have to do.

Everyone is buzzing about the half a billion dollars in the mega million right now. I still play the lottery. Now I am happy to say the lottery dream is not the only way to achieve my dream.

I don’t need another problem!

A Christmas themed Finnish scratch game "...

I am convinced I have a gambling problem. I am not at the point of gambling away my light bill money. I however love scratch tickets. My grandmother and father bought scratch tickets all the time. My father claims he is going to quit. I doubt it!!

Now I think I have the same problem. I know I would be board at a casino. The package store with my five and ten dollars I am hooked. I sit there and look at each ticket thinking about if I won. I think it might be a problem.

It is bad enough I have an eating problem and no husband or boyfriend problem. An upside down loan on my house problem. A no children problem. Do I need a gambling problem. Hell no I don’t.

When I am about to buy I think life is stranger than fiction. I could win and jump-start all my plans. I started the gambling because I wanted a baby and I thought only luck would get me there. Now that I have an actual plan that has nothing to do with a scratch ticket you would think I quit. Not so much. I had to get my fix today.

I am also the strangest lottery player. I am not going to scratch them until I get out of this house. I don’t need anything messing up my process of being free of this property.

So when I finally get out of this house a good two or three months from now. I hope!! Then I will have a pile of scratch tickets to go through and see if I was one of the lucky ones.

I have issues. I know everyone has issues!! It is just hard to face them when they are you own!!


I have been sick for over a week. It is sad to say on New Years I was asleep by 10:30pm. I feel like I am getting better but still coughing and sneezing. The morning I had a nose bleed which I have no idea what that is about. I am not going to read too much into it. Also my right leg has been feeling weak lately. Also another thing I am not going to read into.  I know me. I can drive myself crazy. I am not even going to ask Doctor google what is wrong with me. I know that will only start crying fits.

I been on a lottery ticket buying binge. The weird thing is I haven’t scratched any of them. They are sitting on my dresser waiting for more to add to the pile. I know the possibility of winning the lottery is very rare, but that fact has not stop me. I don’t need that much money to make my life different. I guess it gives me hope that I can go forward with my plans now. Not when I save this fictional money that will show up in my checking account.

Life is stranger than fiction. I could win a nice little bit of change that could change my world. I am going to work with that for now. Like field of dreams “If I build it they will come”. If I buy them they could bring me money. 

I only scratch on Sunday. Usually because I don’t really want to go back to work. I don’t hate my job, but I would rather be doing something else. I would love to go back to school. I just don’t want anymore school loans. I am so glad they are out of my life.

Mr. Shitty paints has been doing great sleeping in his crate. No accidents. I am the pack leader. I am going to make him sleep in there for three weeks. Then he will get a chance to prove himself. I know he misses sleeping on the foot of my bed. He wants a lot of cuddle time before he is banished into his crate to sleep. He is such a cute dog.  I am finally not being suckered by his cute puppy looking face. He is five years old and need to act like it. My dog dramas, lord help me!!

Depression relief!!

My depression has been lifted. I know it has to do with my eating. It has been two-week of clean eating and I feel a lot better. I still have issues with my life and the things not in it. I don’t feel like I am about to fall of the edge of a cliff. Which is a relief from not to long ago.

I really need to watch for depression because it runs ramped in my family. If I stay on this road I will finally fit back into my clothes. Every time I look in my closet and see all those clothes that are two small I tear up.

I also need to incorporate exercise. I swear I can be the laziest person on the earth. I need to get my body moving.

Mr. Short guy hasn’t contacted me since I sent that you could have call me email. Oh well, not a big deal. I am in the mode if it is meant to be it will be.

 The lottery is up high this week. The mega millions and powerball are over 100 million. I know it is a shot in hell to win. I have to give a shot like everyone else. I did the office pool as usual and my own personal numbers I choose. Picking my own numbers can’t be any different from a quick pick in my book.

I remember years ago a 19-year-old won the pot using his siblings birthdays. It is nice to dream. I have no idea what I would do with that kind of money. I guess the answer is what ever the hell I want to do. LOL!!! Today is a good day and I feel good. When I see the glass half full things always seem better.

Another day another dollar

If money was not an issue, I would not be working. Something the submissive guy said. It has popped into my mind today. He said when you are at work someone has to be the boss. I told him the only reason I follow that person is for a paycheck. If I didn’t need the paycheck I wouldn’t have a boss.

Granted he was an idiot trying to compare a relationship to employment. The point is how many people would be working if they had the money not to. My aunt claims she wouldn’t quit her job. What would she have to do she exclaimed.

I would find something believe me. When you hear the lottery stories. Someone wins millions of dollars and continue to work. I don’t know if they were just so happy before the money or just insane. I  joke at my job all the time. I don’t need millions to leave this place.

We have a lottery pool that I put up my two dollars every week. Not that I think we have a chance in hell of winning. The fact is if we did win and I didn’t have my two bucks in the pot, I would need to be put on suicide watch. Well the VP came up to me one day and said did you win. I looked at her and said do you know something I don’t know. She said no she was curious. I told her if we won we would not be here. This place will cleared out. At least the five people in the lottery pool wouldn’t be coming back. I of course would wait until the check clear. I would be in disbelief until then. We even gave one woman the assignment to inform our employer because she lives the closest.

I don’t need millions of dollars to leave my job and enjoy a few years of freedom. It would be nice, but a lower amount would still lead to my resignation. It pays to be the boss. Like Mr. Submissive wants to be the boss. It also pays to have no boss. I think that is even better!!!

Lottery Crazyiness

5 Year Anniversary California Lottery Tickets ...

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I know I am crazy!! Not the needing to be lock up type. The she is a little different kind of crazy. I scratched one of my  lottery tickets. The ones I told you in a prior post sits on my dresser until I have a bad day. Well I wasn’t having a true bad day. It was a usually day. Sick of working wanting to be a free spirit not worrying about bills. Millions would be nice, but enough money to take a break would be great too.

Well I scratched the ticket. I won but I don’t know how much. Yes that is right I didn’t scratch the amount. My co-worker said I am plum weird. Well I wanted a few more days to fantasize what I would do if it is the top prize. I probably won a free ticket, but you never know.

Hey it is my world and I and I want to save the happiness for another day. I know strange right. My co-worker said there would be no way he could not know. Then he asked me for help with something. I said see you don’t want me to win then I won’t be here to help you. LOL!!!

Well the top prize is not enough to retire for life of anything. It is enough for me to be a fulltime student for a few years. Also a possible stay at home mom for a little while also. Which to me would be ten times better than the full-time student.

The boyfriend doesn’t know he is also in my plans if I happen to win. Meaning I will be on high-speed with this baby mission. Meaning sooner than later and would have to step it up. Well I let you into my strangeness. I will keep you posted if I can officially retire for a few years or buy another ticket to try again.

Backwards Lottery

It is so funny when I ask someone what they would do if they won the lottery. Then I ask do they play and they say “NO”. I think it is comical.  They don’t put in the ring but fantasize about winning. I put my hat in and enjoy fantasizing.

The way I play the lottery people find strange.  I play the big lottery at work for several reasons. First being if they win and I didn’t put in my two dollars I would be ready to slit my wrists. Second it is a shot in hell to win that thing. Occasionally I play on my own but rarely.

I do play scratch tickets. In my logic I have a better chance of winning. Scratch tickets are only for the state I am in. Using my C- in statistics I have a better chance of winning. I have won up to five hundred dollars. Not the big pay day I was looking for, but extra money is always a plus.

Years ago my aunt told me to look online to see if all the top prizes have been claimed. You could be buying scratch tickets that you have no chance to win because all the top prizes have been dished out. So I look at the website and see which game has the most chances to win the top prizes.

The strange part is I usually don’t scratch them for several months. No one understands my logic with this. I wait until I have a bad day. Then I scratch a ticket. It could turn my frown upside down. Last night the boyfriend wanted me to scratch my tickets. We fantasized about what we would do if I won the five million dollar grand prize. I still didn’t scratch it. I was having a pretty good day. He was a little disappointed but hey it is my ticket.

Well the fantasy involved me getting IVF and being a stay at home mom. While he change careers and becomes a math teacher. All sounded good to me. Winning ticket here I come!!!!