Baby Project #33

Donor picked FINALLY!!!.  I am glad I have a few people in my corner to discuss these things.

My cousin was very blunt about not using the donor who wants to be a father. It is easy to say what you will do when the child is not here yet. He could totally flip the script once everything is sad and done. Then I am stuck in a drama situation. That is not the move for me.

I don’t even have to keep in touch with the other guy after I am pregnant.  He is just helping me out and that is it.

I am sure my mind can change as much as it needs to. Right now I have the donor picked. I am optimistic. More optimistic than doing my IUI‘s. I know this could possibly not work. I feel it has a great chance of working.  Even more than the 10% chance the doctor gave me  with frozen sperm.

The first attempt will be this month. I am working on getting the clomid. Who knows I am taking the soy isoflavone this month.

Thank you to all lesbian on YouTube. When I looked up insemination it was a lot of lesbian couples on YouTube discussing it. Many did insemination with a known donor.  I appreciate anyone who has walked in my shoes before. I don’t have to reinvent the wheel.

 

Winning!!!

Official logo.

 

I thought it was so funny when Charlie Sheen was going downhill he kept saying he was winning. Not funny he was going downhill. The delusion that things were great. In this since I am winning. I won another 115 bucks on my scratch tickets. So we are close to 400 bucks in a week and a half. Granted I have reinvested most of it each time I win. It does put a smile on my face when I win.

 

Now mama wants to win the big money. 🙂

 

I am waiting for the social worker to contact me with my instruction for this first IUI. I am trying to stay positive and optimistic. I don’t take disappointment well. I guess I need to work on that. My optimism needs to not go down that road. I haven’t tried yet to get pregnant yet.

 

I was supposed to stop reading about IUI on the internet. It keeps making me depressed. So many stories of no success. I will have success!!! That what I need to keep telling myself.

 

In a way I wish I started with home insemination. Even thought I am not the do it yourself type. I am spending all this money in Georgia. When I found a place in Boston to do it a lot cheaper. To bad I am not in Boston. I sometimes regret not moving. It is cold there and I hate the cold. The job was too good to pass up.

 

Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I am still in this state. I need to stay focussed on my goals.

 

2 WEEKS!!

Zumba for Japan

 

My first consultation will be in two weeks. I have so many feelings. Nervous, Fear, Ready. I have no idea what is going to happen. I know I am going to ask can I do an IUI as soon as possible.

 

This is so Life changing. I haven’t received my first pay check on my new job. I am already spending the money.

 

I still have a bunch of scratch tickets un scratched in my room. I usually scratch when I am having a bad day. It looks like I haven’t had a bad day in a long while.

 

I went to my first Zumba class last night. I was looking at myself in the mirror while trying to Zumba. I am an uncoordinated mess. But hey I do feel I lost a bunch a calories. My hips just don’t work that way. I am so stiff compared to the instructor. She was shaking those hips and booty in a way I envied. The class was a block from my house and only four bucks. I have no complaints. I am going tonight. I need to lose this weight. I wish motivation was something you could purchase!!!