it is 19 days past my ovulation. No period in site. I am happy and nervous. I am cramping. Not allot but it is making me nervous. You go online to see if this is normal. Online searches is the worst thing to ever do. I never seem to find good explanations. Maybe I don’t know how to search.
The very handsome guy who sent me an emailed called. I am not feeling his personality. He seems a little stiff in his conversation. He sounds like an old man and he is only 38. He wants to meet today. I do like that he has some urgency. This week isn’t good for me. So he will have to wait. He also said something about he could not date someone who isn’t hot. WTF does that mean?? So do you need to look like a super model. If that is the case drop my resume from consideration. The truth is looks are so subjective. I am not seeing a great turn out with this one. I am still going on the date.
No real reason not to. He lives close to me, it isn’t taking me out of my way. Trying to stay positive!!!
So I did my second day of couch to 5k. Still not graceful but better than the day before. I am going to the gym today to finish out the week. I am going to continue the same routine when I am out-of-town. I contacted my Donor and we are meeting up on Thursday. I have completely no idea when I ovulate these days. So I am trying to cover all bases. I am praying no happy face will show up when I am out-of-town. I am taking my sticks to test day and night. I am going to begin testing tonight which is actually day 8. When I do the insemination it will be day 9. Before I started the soy isoflavones I have been ovulating day 10. Last month I ovulate Day 14. I get back day it will be day 13 of my cycle. I am praying it all works in my favor timing wise.
Even thought it is a 20% chance or less every month. I would at least want to give it a real try. I did my soy at the time for better egg quality at this point. I just want it to happen. I also decided I am not going to stay in Georgia to long after my lease is up. If the baby is not made by January. Hopefully I will have lost the 50 pounds and will be Boston bound. It only makes sense to go back to Boston the way I left. Thin and confident. I am thinking about getting a night job when I get there. For various reason. I can go to school, and also work on getting pregnant during the day. I am sure it will pay less than what I am use to. As long as I can pay my bills, eat and save I can give a damn. It is time to live my life for my dreams and nothing else.
I was thinking a hotel assistant manager. I am going to keep an eye out. I also need to update my resume. That is going to be on my things to do list.
How do I learn patients. I wish I had a crystal ball. I want to know that I am pregnant right now. I am experiencing issues. My yogurt tasted horrible today. I eat yogurt pretty much every day. I thought that was a sign. I been very tired for the past two mornings. I am going to bed at my usual time. I never liked getting up in the morning. I still have never been tired for no reason. I thought that was a sign.
Then someone rained on my parade and said you wouldn’t know that early. Also being tired could be from the progesterone I have been taking everyday. I read many blogs about the two-week wait torture. I thought then it couldn’t be that bad. It really is that bad!!
My doctor’s appointment was 9:20 am. I went to work because it is easy to get there from my job than my house. Damn Atlanta traffic. I swear every time that thing is in my VJAY it is a new form of discomfort.
The good news is I know have four mature eggs. I also have some small ones. I asked her about multiplies. She said I have a 2% chance of multiplies. Even with that 2% chance they made sure I signed that waiver that I know what I am getting my butt into.
Tomorrow will be my first insemination. I did not ovulate myself. I got the trigger shot straight in the ass. So she told me to check my ovulation tonight. When I get the positive it will show the medicine is working.
I asked her a question. She said are you just asking questions to ask questions. Because you know the answer. I should have been mad, because shit you should answer whatever question I ask.
My mother does the same thing when she is nervous. She asks the same questions over and over again. So I told her I am nervous. She then stated there is nothing else you can do at this point. It is not in your hands anymore. All you can do is show up to the appointments. You have four eggs we just need one to be good. I feel so helpless.
On a lighter note I haven’t taken down my personal ad. I know I should, I am just not ready. Well I met this new guy online. He actually lives down the street from me. I was honest about my baby making journey. I wanted to give him a chance to run if it was too much for him. So far so good. We have been chatting for a couple of days.
I would hate to be a bad romantic comedy. The Jennifer Lopez movie where she met the guy the day of insemination. Life is stranger than fiction. I can’t claim to know what will happen in my life. I am surprised every time.
Went to the doctors and I have three follicle ( eggs). She did the ultrasound without saying too much. She waited until after pushing that thing all around my VJAY.
So they are not big enough yet. She wants to trigger my ovulation on day 12. I usually ovulate day 11 according to them. Day 10 according to me. Granted I have no idea how there counting is done. I seem to be a day off. So this means I need to check my ovulation. If I get the smiley face earlier then they predict I will be having the insemination that day and the next day. Yes two insemination one day a part.
I asked her if I would need the trigger shot even if I ovulate on my own. She said she would still give it to me. I didn’t totally understand why, but I am going with it. So they had the discussion (very brief) about multiples. I do have three follies up there. Hey I am praying for my twins. So was half listening. It was very in and out see you next time type of appointment. I was so spacey on the way back to work I went the wrong way. I could have been to work about 15 minutes earlier.
I swear I got everyone praying for me. I am going to my acupunturist this weekend. I was going to go shopping tonight for clothes. I need to be home at 8pm to take my letrozole. I am trying my best to stay on point.
I also got two shots of Menopur. I have no idea what that is supposed to do. Granted I am sure I got the paper work some where. It has been so hard to wrap my head around this. I am looking at this prayer on my computer. Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything.
God please send me my children!!! I am praying at my desk. TGIF!!! I am so ready for the weekend. Next week will be a big week for me. INSEMINATION WEEK!!!!
I had another trip of relaxation and a back rub from heaven. My friends came with me. They have enough workers there that none of us had to wait. I also got my same guy. My session went very long which I never usually worried about. I had guests with me and didn’t want them waiting too long.
Well they were waiting. My appointment was it usual great experience. I couldn’t get a gage how they felt about their appointment. They seemed to enjoy the experience. My friend joked that my guy must like me because I was in there for two hours. I enjoyed every minute of it. Coming here is a lot of self-love. I have decided even after a baby I will continue to come. I wish I could afford to come every week. I am presently relaxed and rejuvenated for my reproductive journey.
AF showed up today. So I took 200mg of Soy Isoflavones. I will take it for the next four days. Now I am going to begin charting my ovulation again and hopefully boyfriend in town when needed.
It will all work out, I am staying positive. Now I have to figure out how to take these other supplements. So more research tonight and praying for a successful month.
I have some good news to report. I found my LH surge finally. I am not as broken as I thought I was. Boyfriend isn’t in town to take advantage of this surge. He is in VA helping his mom. She is a victim of hurricane Irene. She just got power after a week. He emailed me because there is no cell phone service. I am glad his mom is ok.
So what I did to find the surge. I tried the regular way for two months. First with the equate version OPK test from Wal-Mart. That didn’t work. Then I thought because it was cheap I had no success. Next was Clearblue Easy OPK after $40.00 no happy face. I was not happy at all. I followed the directions on the box. I decided I am not like normal people and those test directions are based on the average woman. Well I am not average which I found out. I found a website that told me to test twice a day. I was not going to spend the money for Clearblue easy to do that.
I went to Amazon.com to look for a cheaper option. I found Wondfo One Step Ovulation kits. There were 50 tests for $10. How could I beat it? Then I went to WEB MD Ovulation calendar to track my fertile period. I also went to Wal-Mart to pick up disposable cups to collect my sample. I noticed is my cycle had changed over the months. One month 28 the next month 23. Web MD uses three months of your cycle to decide your ovulation period. My fertile period was a week earlier than I thought.
I started testing twice a day and got two dark lines. I thought it might be a fluke so I tested it again. I got another dark line. You couldn’t believe my excitement. I still had a few Clearblue easy left and did that test. Finally I got a happy face!!!!