Baby Project #34

I got the happy face this morning. Today was the day it needed to get done. I was on a mission for this cycle not to be lost. I took that damn soy isoflavone and I didn’t want it to go to waste.

I have issues. I know I have issues. One of my major issues is I feel every man will disappoint me. Whatever a man says is bullshit and I should just wait to be disappointed.  I am sure some of this stems from childhood. Then continued on with the trifling men I continued to have in my life.

Donor dude has not been big on communication. Of course in my mind I am thinking here we go with the bullshit. Well to my surprise he was waiting for me at Positive Impact to get our HIV test. It is so weird. We are not dating. I wouldn’t call us friends. The whole situation is strange as hell. We were in that place for about an hour and half. We both left with our negative cards.

I have always used condoms. I have never made a man take a HIV test. The ex and I slept together with no condom. Especially when I convinced him to make a baby with me. I trusted him and don’t know why. He is one of the men who doesn’t seem to do much but disappoint me.

Donor deposit was made. Another will be made tomorrow or Monday. All depending on Sunday activities. More on his side than mine.

The ex text me. I didn’t ignore him on purpose, I was busy. Well he started getting aggressive with trying to contact me. I decided perfect time to give him a taste of his own medicine. I was not going to respond to him. After about ten text and phone calls. My home phone started ringing. Shit I didn’t know my home phone number. Caller ID  showed  it was him. I didn’t answer.

When I was coming in earlier the fire department showed up for some reason. I think someone was hurt, they brought an ambulance. Well an hour later I get a text. I am by your car come out because I don’t know what apartment you live in. I couldn’t believe it. Not that he hasn’t done that before. Granted that was 11 years ago. I went outside and yes he was there.

How can you do this to me. I looked at him with a blank stare. How many damn times have you done this to me. He couldn’t believe it. He kept saying I don’t believe you did that. All I could do is laugh. You know how many night he has had my ass calling and staring at the phone. Shit I should have been ignoring his ass a long time ago.

So I told him to take me to the movies. We ended up seeing Iron Man 3. We went to the 9:35 show. I didn’t want him to stay over. I don’t want to end up on the Maury show. Who is the father. A friend said why not. I might be going about this in an unconventional way. I do want to know who impregnated me. If my child ask I have maintain some level of respect.

My donor father is an identical twin. If he gets me twins I might have to buy him a present. Keeping hope alive!!!

Interesting turn of events!

Philly

Image by courosa via Flickr

Well it doesn’t look like I am going to the Fernbank. I haven’t heard from the guy other than a text on Monday. I know I had to strike while the iron was hot.

A guy I met years ago has contacted me. He seems to want to rekindle something. I just have no idea what because all I remember is one date a long time ago. I am getting voice mails and text messages saying have a good day. It is kind of shocking. This person and I never had a great vibe. I think that is why it never went beyond one date. It sounds like he has some sort of epiphany. I wish he would let me in on it. I haven’t talked to him in years. He is talking to me in a manner that we never stopped communicating.

On another internet event. A guy I really liked I have reconnected with. I say I really liked him loosely. We have never met. We flirted and talked on the phone on and off for a few years. I think we fell off when ever we were dating someone. I emailed him a month ago just to say hello. Then he called and bang we are back shooting the shit on the phone.

Why we never met you ask? Well he lives in Philly. I live in Atlanta. I refuse to travel to  a strange city to meet a stranger. I know you might think I could be missing an opportunity. Take a risk. My answer to that is hell no. I have been on countless internet dates. More than the average person. There is nothing worse than being in a  situation and stuck. Yes I drove two hours to Columbus GA to meet this guy. He was at a military base. When I got there he would not stop talking about his ex girlfriend. I ended up yelling at this guy “will you stop saying her name”. I was stuck for the evening. I was ready to run home the next day.

I have also had many bad dates that I couldn’t wait for him to finish eating so I could head home. It is real bad when I offer to pay for my meal just so he doesn’t have the illusion to call me again. I can’t imagine being in a strange city going through that crap. So I put it on the man. If he is that interested he will make the effort.

Over the years I have had men visit from South Carolina, Florida, New York. They stayed in hotels and I met them.

I didn’t meet this guy because he was a broke med student/resident when we started talking. He didn’t have the time or money to come see me. Now that has changed. He is working and from what I can see successful in what he is doing. He is still beyond busy.

He actually offered to come see me. I was shocked. First he offered me a plane ticket to Philly which I refused. He needs to come here first so I can access the body language on my turf.

Actions speak louder than words. Me being the pessimist I know. I will believe it when he gets off the plane. I need to work on being optimistic. I hate being let down so pessimism is my safety net to disappointment.

My Pity Party is OVER!!

I am not a religious person. I swear god always teaches me lessons. On Monday evening after my eventful weekend things got crazy. Did I mention I had two dates on Monday. I haven’t done much in five months dating this man who travels 90% of the time. Then I have two dates in one day. Go figure. Neither of the dates were a love connection.

So I was still feeling bad about my text message break up. I went to walk MR. Shitty Paints (My dog). We went outside at our usual time. This woman came to me and asked me if I seen her sister. I said who is your sister. She pointed to the townhouse three doors over. I wanted to be nice, but I have been here nine years and it took two years for the woman three doors over to wave HI. She is not tha friendly person. So I tried to say tactfully you sister is kind of bitch. Is it really hard to say hello?

So she goes on to say she hadn’t talked to her since Friday. She didn’t show up to the Sunday family dinner. She is a very quiet person. It wasn’t unusual for her not to call but she would at least text. Now I was a bit concerned. I asked her if she had the key to the house. She said yes. I asked her if she wanted me to go in there with her. She said no she called the police scared of what might be found in the house.

So me being me, I started knocking on the other neighbors doors for information. No one knew anything. I guess everyone goes on with their lives and don’t pay attention to others. I have to admit I do the exact something. I was glad to see I have caring neighbors. No one went back in there house. They all came out to help.

I had one neighbors husband look in the back of the townhouse to make sure no one kicked in the back door. The husband (No I don’t know his name, Damn shame after nine years LOL) asked the sister if she wanted him to go in with her. She said yes. I guess she felt more comfortable with a man. Everyone else was waiting by the door. Then I heard him yell CALL 911. His wife and I ran up the stairs. I had 911 on the phone.

She was unconscious but breathing. I played a amature nurse to the wife as she made sure her air passage was clear. Finally the police showed up. The cop was a straight Ass hole. He insinuated that she might be drunk. Even if she was this was not something to mention in front of her sister who was falling apart and calling family at the same time.

She was still unconscious when they took her in the ambulance. We have no updates to how she is. We didn’t even know her name until Monday. She is only 37 years old. All I have to say is that experience changed me.

EX boyfriend can kiss my ass. I woke up today and I am alive and grateful. All is fine in my world and I am not going to let him steal anymore of my joy.

Lottery update

Scratchcards sold in Berlin, Germany

Image via Wikipedia

The scratch ticket I held on to was a winner. It wasn’t what I dreamed. A free ticket which equals a winner so I broke even. How can you beat that. Of course I scratched another one in the same manner. I won again!!! I still have no idea how much. I am leaving that for next Monday. When I wake up and don’t feel like going to work.  I want to have something to look forward to.

My co-worker thinks I am beyond crazy. He is a true gambler. He offered me 50 bucks for my ticket.  I had to give him one of his sayings he gave me. I might be hungry but I am not starving. How would I look selling a winning ticket that could possible be worth  5 million dollars for 50 bucks.  I am sure he is going to sell me a pet rock next.

I told the boyfriend again when I win we are going straight to RE for some IVF. Clearly I am not patient. I am ready for my mother’s day card. 🙂

Today is a sad day. My uncle funeral. I could not afford to go home. Another round of guilt for living so far from home.