When I get home until it is time to go to bed. I swear feels like 20 min. I get off work. It takes an hour or less to get home. Now I stick Ava on the Potty. While I make one of her three choices for dinner. Mac and Cheese, Grilled Cheese sandwich or pancakes. Then I give her a bath. Which I do fairly quickly. She on the other hands wishes she could stay in the tub forever. So after I drag her out, I look to see if her hair could last another day. Or will I let it go even though it looks like crap?
Either I take the time to do her hair. Or leave it for another day. Then I give her the tablet. Which she pretty much had all night by this point. Then if my mother is in a good mood. She watches her or more like they hang out. Ava loves her Nana. She is always in her room and in her bed with her. They are very close. So when they are hanging out I take a shower. Usually a long very hot shower. To wash all the bad thoughts and the long day off my body. I wash my hair and my face and feel fresh and new.
Then I moisturize. Get my clothes and Ava clothes together for the next day. Sometimes I really should iron Ava’s clothes but that depends on my mood. Then I try to get her to go to bed by 9:30pm. She fights me every night. Laughing, jumping wanting to sit on my lap and cuddle. Anything to fight the sleep. Then I watch TV, work on my vlog, blog or do an adult coloring book.
My life feels like it goes in a flash, one night at a time.
I have some money in the bank. I was thinking of treating myself. That is so hard for me to do. I have no idea why. I go to work every day. I am always in the world of adulting. Thinking of my responsibilities have always been a big part of my life.
I still have a sizable debt. I have been doing great to lower it.
I wanted a new camera for my youtube channel. Then I talk myself out of it. I don’t have a big audience. I haven’t made as much money as I am investing into youtube.
Then I started to think. It is very nice to have people watch my video and comment. The truth is I like doing youtube regardless of my subscribers. If I didn’t I really wouldn’t have gotten this far with it.
Then I want a new computer. My computer has Vista on it. That shows you how old it is. Then I think there is nothing wrong with the computer. It works fine. I don’t do much on it really. How much is a new computer needed? It is hard for me just to buy these things because I want them. There is no real need for either thing.
There hasn’t been something I wanted so bad in a long time. Other than my baby. That was the last thing and only thing for a substantial part of my life that I wanted in a bad way.
I am not very materialistic. I am not into clothes. I wish I did my makeup more often. I have a lot of it. I just don’t have the time in the morning. I am so low maintenance. I recently went to the nail salon. My toes and nails look wonderful. I should do that more often. The problem is I can’t take Ava with me. She would not do well with me indisposed. She is not the sit their type of child. I didn’t want to ask my mother. She watches her so much. I broke down and asked her when my toenails were catching on my sheets. Yes so embarrassing. They were long just jagged for whatever reason.