Where have I been???

I have been somewhat consistent with this blog. When I could update it at work, I had the content flowing. Now that time is not my friend, I try and write several posts in one sitting. Well Ava has been going to sleep with Melatonin by 7:30pm. I swear I am so tired I sleep shortly after.

She started waking up in the middle of the night again. So my sleep is all fucked up. Excuse the swearing, but that is all I got at the moment. I am going to do better with this blog. Even though it has been a hobby. I can never seem to figure out how to make money on social media.

This blog was created because I do love to write, even though my grammar sucks. My married ex-boyfriend. (had to say that being men who date me tend to get married) Said if I wanted to get better at writing I need to practice. He created this blog for me and gave me the password.

So years have passed. I was friends with him, but he dropped me because of the marriage. Which I don’t blame him, we weren’t that great of friends. I tend to have a habit of calling my ex for validation. I haven’t done it in years. I am going to keep that chapter closed. Except for the one guy on Facebook that has been married and divorced twice after we dated. He loves finding me on Facebook and reminiscing. I have to say I enjoy it also. Did I make a mistake leaving him? Two ex-wives might say no!! I can’t focus on my past because that is something with no repeat.

I can’t focus on the future because I tend to have a negative outlook lately. I am going to stay firmly in the present.

Speech Apraxia/Nonverbal Autism

Two different speech therapist years apart has stated Ava has speech Apraxia.

Definition: Children with apraxia have difficulty coordinating the use of their tongue, lips, mouth, and jaw to produce clear and consistent speech sounds. … Speech-language pathologists have specialized training in distinguishing a broad variety of speech-language problems, many of which overlap

I wanted to know if there was a diagnosis for this. I kicked up a lot. Emailing her pediatrician the speech therapist at the children’s hospital. All that to find out a child needs about 50 words to be diagnosed with the condition.

I understand but when it is clear many children that are nonverbal have this. Why hasn’t it been studied and protocols on how to treat it been created??? What is the point to say this when there is nothing you can do about it.

Ava has no interest in talking. She doesn’t make an attempt or even tries. The whole speech therapy can be painful when you have a child barely participating. If I had the money and time, I would take her to speech five days a week. So unrealistic but that is how much I am invested in hearing my child’s voice.


Ava Special Needs

Well I went public. My blog is not inline with my YouTube channel. To be honest folks, I write a lot of these in advance. Then schedule them out to keep them going. It is all my life just not in real time. Sometimes!!! Unless I had a hard day and just needed to write.

This works for me to keep my blog alive weekly. Instead of letting it go for months with the lack of time in my life.

So Ava is autistic. I few of you guys figured it out. I am not embarrassed or ashamed. That is not the reason I didn’t answer anyone’s questions. I was going through a lot. Had to get a lot in place for my child. Had to work on her, and all her needs.

I had no idea what the word meant. I have cousin with autism. I really thought it was just hard to socialize and make friends. OMG it means a whole lot more than that. My closest friends and family has really been my comfort. When I was sitting in the doctors face. She approved my child for 25 hours a week of services. She said if there is no progress we will be having a different conversation the next time.

Well it has been a year. A lot of progress has been made in some areas. Not in all, but which can bother me at times. The therapist love to say we need to meet them where they are at. I met a mom and I have to steel what she said. I need to meet her where she needs to go not where she is at.

Early intervention think I am super mom. I feel I fall short from that title in many ways. I work a full time job. I have an hours worth of commute each way. I do go out my way to email them. Set goals I want to see happen. Sit down and talk to them when I can.

Tonight I wrote a proposal try and get parents evening and weekend training classes. I have not taken early childhood, speech or ABA classes. I need help in those areas so I can help my child.

I have already picked out her preschool. Please pray we get in. I have had a one on one with the assistant principal. I have things I want to work on implementing and goals I want her to reach. My baby is my pries possession. She will be doing testing for preschool hopefully this month. To start immediately when she turns 3 and the services end. Which in Massachusetts is 3.

Ok I know some will go into vaccines. I met a woman that delayed the vaccines and her daughter still got it. I did beat myself up for not doing a delayed schedule. Or some kind of way this is my fault. I had to let that go. None of that talk will help my daughter.

She will have challenges and I will be there to help her through everyone . …