I couldn’t wait until five pm today. I was so mentally done with work. I have been eating again. I swear I need to stop. I been feeling twinges and my nipples have been hard. I don’t want to get to excited.

I do have a date with someone I met online. Something doesn’t feel right about this guy. We will see how it goes. I am not optimistic. I have been looking online for a sensitive pregnancy test. I know I should wait but patience is not my biggest strong suit. The work week has been stressful because I been disinterested in work.

I cried to a friend about my desire for babies. I feel so cursed sometimes. I know it irrational and I am very blessed. I want this more than anything I ever wanted in my life. I took a deep tour through my life. I haven’t had a desire and want so deep. It is hard to explain the need for motherhood. The switched was flipped and I am ready to open that door.

I am going to work on being positive and stop all my negative behaviors.

Dopamine-Responsive Dystonia and Pregnancy

I always had it in the back of my head what I would do if I got pregnant. I have been on a Parkinson’s disease medication since I was 19 years old. I was diagnosed with a Dopamine deficiency.  I knew not taking the medicine all the symptoms that miraculously went away would begin to come back.  When I started taking the medication my condition was becoming crippling.

Since taking the medication I was told by my Parkinson’s disease specialist that if my symptoms stay at rest then I do not need to see him.  I took his advice and just went to regular check up.  I brought my medical records so I would never have an issue getting my medications.

I always knew I needed to go to the doctors to get some answers.  The miracle medication could be harmful to my future child. There are no studies of pregnant women taking this medication.

It was never important until now. I want children. Yes I decided I want children not just a child.  My need to have at least two has a lot to do with my only child status. I would have loved to have a sibling.  I do have a cousin that is more of a brother than a cousin. Thank god for him or I would really be alone.

On my search to find answers I had to locate a Parkinson’s disease specialist in GA.  I took the in net work list of my health insurance in search for a neurologist and started to make calls. I swear I was on the phone for an hour looking for a Parkinson specialist. I needed a doctor that deals with medication primarily. I did not want a neurologist that sees Parkinson patients.  I finally found one and made an appointment.

I didn’t get any real answers from the Neurologist appointment. He was a real nice guy and was very understanding of my situation. He didn’t ask any questions of how this baby was going to come to be. I really appreciated that, I did not want to go into the conversation of being a single mother by choice.  It wasn’t the focus of the appointment and I did not want the conversation to steer that way.

Basically he said he really didn’t know but would do research and consult another doctor.  I asked him if I had to come back or could he tell me this information on the phone.  I am cheap and didn’t want to spend another 40 bucks to get this information.

Three weeks had passed and I called several times.  I did get comforted from the nurse who said she witness people who came into the office taking the same medication having healthy babies.

Finally I had my phone consultation. I was nervous about the call. I told the receptionist at my job to page me if I was not at my desk. I did not want to miss the call and play phone tag with the doctor. It took three weeks to get to this point.  I was trying to stay positive that no matter what he said I would be OK.

I got the best news. Not perfect news but still good.  He said there is a risk but he felt it was minimal. During the three-week wait I faxed him the information I found online. He said he received the information. He explained that the low dosage would not create a problem.  Not taking the medication would make any pregnancy for me very difficult.  Not perfect news. I would have loved to hear that they know it would not hurt my future child.  There is a risk and I will have decided if I am going to take that risk.  This news has eased my mind a whole lot. Now it is decision-making time.  I am supposed to have a date this weekend.  It hasn’t been confirmed.  We have been talking on the phone seems like a cool dude. Who knows I could have a baby doing the baby dance instead of being fertilized in an office.  I know which one I would prefer!!