No more Reruns

The Dating Game

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I have had a habit of dating people more than once. In my mind-set is  time has past and they have changed or I have change. Usually neither one of us have changed and it ends badly. So I decided no more reruns.

This guy online sent me an email with his phone number, about a month ago. He was handsome but some reason I was not rushing to call him. I do like when they cut to the chase and want to talk on the phone. It prevents the wasting of time.  He was handsome and his profile was nice and he had a lot of positive things going for him. Something told me it didn’t feel right.

So two days ago I get a WHY NOT email from him. Yes in the subject line it said WHY NOT!! This is the internet dude if someone is not interested why are you taking it so personally. It is the men with the huge egos that can’t fathom that a woman would not be interested in them. I should have put him in my speed dial when he gave me the number RIGHT?

Well I looked at this profile again and asked him what is he looking to find online. I still wasn’t jumping to call him. When I pressed send on the email I realized why. I have already went on a date with this guy. I thought he was handsome and he never called me again. So now it is years later and he is sending me a WHY NOT email.

I sent him another email stating we met before. I even put the bar we met at to jog his memory. He sent a responce to my first email. He stated how women he have met online haven’t made it to a second date. He clearly didn’t realize I was one of his rejects.

The funny thing is I could careless. If he wasn’t interested in me I am not going to gome cry. There are many men who haven’t made it to a second phone conversation with me. The difference is I never sent them a long email suggesting that a mistake was made and they need to be interested in me. Sounds like he is arrogant. Well I was in one of my moods and I gave him a call.

We had small talk for a minute.  Basically I wanted him to know there was no need to reject me again. He asked me if I was bitter. I let him know I was not it wasn’t a big deal. I was one of these women he was referring to that did not make it to a second date.  He wanted to continue chit chatting. I wasn’t interested at all. I told him to have a good night. The funny thing is if he came off a different way, Who knows!!

The WHY NOT email put him in my reject pile. I must take great pictures. Plus for me loss for him!!! 🙂

Just A Conversation

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I received an email yesterday from a cute guy. I made the commitment  to myself not to stress over a relationship or a baby for three months. I am still holding true to that. He sent a very nice email. It wasn’t vulgar. He didn’t ask me  for a picture with no clothes. It was very nice simple and sweet. Nice change of pace. I check out his profile.

He was my type and very handsome. Two things struck me. He is two years younger and four inches shorter. Neither a big deal to me. I have a friend who is 5’5 and needs someone over 5’10. Did I mention she is single like the rest of us. I believe you are entitled to your preferences. There are somethings I will not budge on at all. Then there are things that are not that big of deal. Height and age are not a big deal to me.

I am six-foot tall, 6’2 when I wear heels. If he can handle that then we are good.  We exchanged a few emails yesterday. Which was great because it broke up the monotone of my job. My work day was coming to an end. I thought should I ask for his number so we can talk during my long commute. Instantly I thought no I am not asking for anything. If he is interested then he will let me know. When I finally got home I had an email waiting in my in box with his phone number. I thought to myself wow I did that correct.

I gave him a call and left a message. An hour later he called we talked for about twenty minutes. It was a good conversation filled with the getting to know you questions. Then he asked could he call me back in a half an hour. I said sure and went about my evening. Two hours later I realized he never called back. To stay true to my commitment I was not going to obsesses over it. If he called he does if he doesn’t he doesn’t. Me and Mr shitty paints went to sleep. I fell asleep stress free and relaxed.

I checked my phone during my daily morning activities and noticed I had a text message. Mr nice email apologized for not call me back. Wow I win again with this approach. I am not stressing anything and my life is peaceful what ever happens I am going with the flow. We ended up talking on my commute to work. More get to know you questions were asked and answered.

This approach is keeping me stress free and I am loving it. All positive things needs to enter my life and the rest needs to be banished. I might meet this guy I might not. It might turn into something or it might not. I don’t care either way which is a lovely feeling!!!

Depression Reversal

I have finally admitted to myself and others my depresssion. I yelled at my aunt because when I use the word depressed to my family members they sweep it under the rug. Don’t they know people kill themselves. Granted I am not at that point. The point is depression is a serious issues. The problem is my family are a bunch of very selfish people. When they have a problem they want you devastated and listen to their every concern. When you have a problem you are just being dramatic and it really isn’t that bad. Or others are going through the same thing. Or be grateful because you are so blessed. Yes all these answers might be true but they do nothing for depression. It just makes me think they don’t give a shit unless it affects them in some way.

I am thirty pounds from my ideal weight which bugs the hell out of me. Granted I  was over a hundred pounds away. That was in my twenties which was so damn long ago. I am discontent with life. No drug can cure that issue. I was thinking of going to the doctor and getting an anti-depressant. I have had these issues of depression since I was a teenager. I have always been told my issues have never warranted medication. That is a true blessing. Doping me up isn’t going to magically change my life.

Allot of my issues is a  feeling life is so unfair. Granted no one told me it would ever be fair. Also there are many others who would love my life. I even had a friend tell me how she envied my life of freedom. Lately it hasn’t felt that free due to the bondage of my mind. I know everything can always be worse. I am looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.

The tunnel of work coming home to a dog and no children to open Christmas presents. I have been recommend to stop focussing on what I don’t have and focus on what I do. This is a challenge I am working on starting today.For the next three months I am not worry about a baby or a man. Or lack of money to have the baby on my own right now. I am focussing on what I do have and my physical, mental and spiritual health.

I am blessed to have my family. They drive me crazy but I am blessed they are here and healthy. I am blessed to have great friends to call me on my shit. I am blessed that I am healthy. You cannot buy health so I am going to try an appreciate it every day. I am blessed I can pay my bills and I am not homeless or struggling. There are so many people suffering I need to appreciate that I am not. I appreciate that my job is not that stressful. I like the people I work with. That is saying allot. I have had five jobs and two temp jobs in eleven years. It is nice to feel ok about going to work.

I have been so focussed on the negative the positive seems impossible to find. I need to improve my attitude and I know things will change.

Surprised!!!

I have clubbed in the Atlanta area for years. Granted I have taken a break for a long while. Usually I meet men out and about. It never really translates into anything. Eventually I delete them from my cell phone. Well I have heard from four guys from Saturday night. This is a strange occurence.

The Navy guy I actually called to see if he was alright. He was pretty drunk and I was concerned. We chatted for a while which was cool. I had taken a few pictures with him. I added him to my Facebook. He didn’t really seem that interested in me via the phone. It sounded like we could be good friends. Or Facebook friends which is fine with me.

Two other guys asked me how I was doing via text message. Yes, people do not want to hear your voice anymore. Text message is the new way to converse. I am not a big texter. I exchanged a few text with each of them. One lives out-of-state. The other one lives near me but I wasn’t to sure about him. Time will tell!! Everything in the dark always comes to the light.

Now the real surprise is Coach. I emailed him. He emailed me. We talked on IM (instant message) this morning. Could there be something there??? It is funny how my life took on some excitement. He is on the ball of keeping in touch. We will see how this plays out. I have never been the groupie type. 

I mentioned that New England Patriot that wanted to sleep with me in the last post. Further explanation: I was at a cookout. I had no idea who he was. I have never been interested in sports. He let me know he played for the team. Which I wasnt impressed because sports never held my interests. He proceed to ask me when we could sleep together even thought he was married. I thought to myself this guy has a nerve and a big ass ego. I had to deflate it. I was not interested in him or his offer. So that was my one bout with someone with some fame. I am not going to sell my soul to the devil.

So if Coach is interested I have no problem going on a date. My life picked up all in one night. The night I was determined to stay home and be depressed. I owe thanks to ( My friend) for making me go out!!!

She has been my homegirl for years. She kicked me in the booty on Saturdaym, about wasting my time being depressed. It is great to have good friends who don’t put up with your BULL SHIT!!!!

Can’t I have anything?

I joined this meet up group. I have been to one event.  I had planned to make there events part of my regular social calendar. I had a decent time minus one incident. I’m trying to forget that incident which had nothing to do with the group. So I wanted to relax this weekend and miss two events.

I went online to check out the pictures to see who showed up. My mouth dropped. My co-worker was a member. I guess that wouldn’t be a big deal if this was someone I could see myself socializing with. Also I’m private at work. I try not to mix professional and private. Correction I learned my lesson not to mix professional and private. That is an entire different story.

I share selectivity and only with certain people in the workplace.  The major issue is this person has a big mouth. There entire life story is all over the office. I’m not going to be chased out. I really enjoyed the people in the group. I am going to put on my big girl draws and deal with it. It isn’t high school a period in my life I have no desire to repeat.

I thought this city was big enough. I guess not!!!