Baby project #14

English: Cervical cap Français : Cape cervical...

 

Second insemination went smoothly. Five follicles have released  I was laying there thinking HELL YES!! It sounded like good news. My doctor is very dry. She even had a great tone to her voice. She did say if this didn’t work, she wouldn’t change the protocol at all.

 

The social worker and I talked after my 15 min of laying there. I told her I was excited by the number of follicles. She said it is a good sign. How good are they and will they create a baby is the big question.

 

The cervical cap came out easily last night. She placed another one in today. I wanted to go to my acupuncturist  today.  I will be there tomorrow. The last time I was there she said they got robbed. When she left late at night. So I decided against going because I wouldn’t get there until late. I don’t want to put myself or my acupuncturist in danger. Her husband is out of the country for a while.

 

The social worker said try not to worry about it. If I can pull that off I need to write a book. I am going to assume right at this moment I am pregnant with my twin girls. Here is to the Law of Attraction!!!

 

Winning!!!

Official logo.

 

I thought it was so funny when Charlie Sheen was going downhill he kept saying he was winning. Not funny he was going downhill. The delusion that things were great. In this since I am winning. I won another 115 bucks on my scratch tickets. So we are close to 400 bucks in a week and a half. Granted I have reinvested most of it each time I win. It does put a smile on my face when I win.

 

Now mama wants to win the big money. 🙂

 

I am waiting for the social worker to contact me with my instruction for this first IUI. I am trying to stay positive and optimistic. I don’t take disappointment well. I guess I need to work on that. My optimism needs to not go down that road. I haven’t tried yet to get pregnant yet.

 

I was supposed to stop reading about IUI on the internet. It keeps making me depressed. So many stories of no success. I will have success!!! That what I need to keep telling myself.

 

In a way I wish I started with home insemination. Even thought I am not the do it yourself type. I am spending all this money in Georgia. When I found a place in Boston to do it a lot cheaper. To bad I am not in Boston. I sometimes regret not moving. It is cold there and I hate the cold. The job was too good to pass up.

 

Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason I am still in this state. I need to stay focussed on my goals.

 

Aunt Flow nailed me!!

This clearly is not implantation bleeding. AF is here with a vengeance  I know it is crazy, but I still want to take the pregnancy test for good measure. Or to soothe my crazy brain.

Now my prayers are for the first insemination to work. The social worker told me via email the doctors is recommending the most expensive insemination. I really want to try the unmedicated with soy isoflavone.

I am really going to pray on that one.  I really have to think of my motives. I know I am cheap, but I really want to have a baby. So I should go with the doctor’s recommendation.

I am not sure if ex is excited or worried. At this point don’t really care. I need to work on my plan. I am going to pray I get pregnant the first go round of insemination with my twins.

I know everything is on gods time not mine. I guess I can go pick up that DHEA to begin taking it today. JOY, JOY, JOY more acne and other side effects.

I think I actually have a few bottles of it at home. I am going to check before I spend anymore money. It is saving time.

I know I make plans and god laugh. But my plan is to get pregnant and have the baby in Georgia. Then head to Boston after I get myself together and comfortable at home, look for a job.

We will see how it all plays out. The fear of not getting pregnant from the IUI is scary. I cannot afford IVF.

Here is to positive thinking!!!