When the doctor looks you in the face and tells your child is autistic you life changes at that moment. Regardless of where they are on the spectrum your life changes. I have been told I am the right person to have an autistic child. I call bullshit. I don’t feel like the right person. I feel like a mom willing to do anything for my child.
I have no idea what Ava future is going to be. The success stories are what keeps me motivated. It is what keeps me going.
Now Ava has a speech device. It was approved with the insurance. I get notes home with her doing these great things with this device. These success stories give me hopes that one day I will be able to talk to my daughter.
When I was pregnant or dreaming about being a mother. I would never have imagined any of the challenges that motherhood to an autistic child brought me. Sometimes I really need a lifeline.
I have been somewhat consistent with this blog. When I could update it at work, I had the content flowing. Now that time is not my friend, I try and write several posts in one sitting. Well Ava has been going to sleep with Melatonin by 7:30pm. I swear I am so tired I sleep shortly after.
She started waking up in the middle of the night again. So my sleep is all fucked up. Excuse the swearing, but that is all I got at the moment. I am going to do better with this blog. Even though it has been a hobby. I can never seem to figure out how to make money on social media.
This blog was created because I do love to write, even though my grammar sucks. My married ex-boyfriend. (had to say that being men who date me tend to get married) Said if I wanted to get better at writing I need to practice. He created this blog for me and gave me the password.
So years have passed. I was friends with him, but he dropped me because of the marriage. Which I don’t blame him, we weren’t that great of friends. I tend to have a habit of calling my ex for validation. I haven’t done it in years. I am going to keep that chapter closed. Except for the one guy on Facebook that has been married and divorced twice after we dated. He loves finding me on Facebook and reminiscing. I have to say I enjoy it also. Did I make a mistake leaving him? Two ex-wives might say no!! I can’t focus on my past because that is something with no repeat.
I can’t focus on the future because I tend to have a negative outlook lately. I am going to stay firmly in the present.
Two different speech therapist years apart has stated Ava has speech Apraxia.
Definition: Children with apraxia have difficulty coordinating the use of their tongue, lips, mouth, and jaw to produce clear and consistent speech sounds. … Speech-language pathologists have specialized training in distinguishing a broad variety of speech-language problems, many of which overlap
I wanted to know if there was a diagnosis for this. I kicked up a lot. Emailing her pediatrician the speech therapist at the children’s hospital. All that to find out a child needs about 50 words to be diagnosed with the condition.
I understand but when it is clear many children that are nonverbal have this. Why hasn’t it been studied and protocols on how to treat it been created??? What is the point to say this when there is nothing you can do about it.
Ava has no interest in talking. She doesn’t make an attempt or even tries. The whole speech therapy can be painful when you have a child barely participating. If I had the money and time, I would take her to speech five days a week. So unrealistic but that is how much I am invested in hearing my child’s voice.
We had the speech appointment. I feel the woman conducting the test made my day. I was early for the test. There was another little girl there. Not sure if she was autistic but I suspected. She came to the appointment with the grandparents.
The little girl waved at Ava. Ava ignored her, but the grandfather was so surprised. He said she never really does that. Can you come home with us? If I had more time I would have talked to him further.
The therapist came out and got us out of the waiting early. We were in the little office waiting for the speech therapist from Ava school to show up. It gave us some time to talk.
She told me the device helps 90% of kids. I said 90%???? She said yes. They don’t all gain speech, but she has seen that. 90% of communication is increased. I am so excited. She basically told me to calm down. She has seen kids talk 4-6 years old and catch up to there peers. That made me feel amazing.
Then I told her how Ava is always watching the creation of the world documentaries that she finds on her tablet. She also watches shows in Spanish. She said she might be interested in planets, and it isn’t unusual that kids with autism watch things in other languages.
The school speech therapist shows up. The test only took an hour instead of the 2 hours that was anticipated. Due to Ava school already working with her and these devices.
So now we are working on the insurance to get the device. Things are looking up!! #autismmom
We have been going to additional speech therapy on, the weekends. There have been less than six verbal imitations of any sounds. I try my best to not get discouraged. The first session we got two verbal imitations, and now we are down to one each session.
The speech therapist is leaning towards Ava needing a device to talk. I told her I am not at that point right now. I am praying with all my heart that my child will be able to speak to me. Even catch up with her peers.
She just turned 4 a month ago. I have beaten the odds in many areas of my life. I can’t let the faith go now when I really need it.
Ava skills are starting to emerge. Before she wouldn’t imitate anything. Now she has the sign more down pack. Also, I got her to touch her head when I said head and touched mine. I personally never been interested in early education, and now learning the basic of the progression of how children learn.
When I was down in the dumps, I was reading a Facebook post, and they stated there child had no words until they were five. Then I was in a mood again, and a woman left me a comment on my Youtube Channel. She was asking a question about Ava. Then I went to her channel, and she is from London Autistic and talked very late in life. She is in college now.
God has been giving me signs all over the place. There is nothing or no one which will have me give up on my child. Yes, I had to change my perspective of her accomplishments. Right now I can not count her out for any future achievements. I asked God for help nightly. I am working on my faith. Blind faith is the hardest things to obtain. I use to have it. I am working hard on getting it back.
It is no secret I want my child to start talking. I called the insurance for additional speech therapy. Hopefully, I haven’t written about this before. My mind is in the clouds, and it is hard to keep up.
I found a speech therapist for the weekends. She is doing the evaluation on Ava coming soon. Then my Saturday’s at 11 will be taken up with that appointment. I told her to be honest with me. If she feels Ava case is above her head. I don’t want to waste my time or hers.
I am looking forward to the appointment. She said I will be in a few sessions with Ava. Then I will see through the glass. I really don’t care as long as she makes headway of her talking. Her autism center speech therapist wasn’t insulted by her additional appointment. I brought it up at a meeting. She said great to give her my information, and we can work together.
I thought that was great. I feel my child’s voice is in there.
This is the first speech therapy appointment and it went very well. I left the room and let her do her thing. I could hear everything, and it was very interesting. God is good and I need to have faith. Stay prayed up.
So she put things in perspective. She does have delays and she doesn’t want to minimize that. Granted they have no clue if she could catch up. Which could happen, you know I am praying it will. I will deal with it if it doesn’t.
I really like her therapist. We have a hearing test and a developmental intake coming up in the January. I am blessed that I have a half a day on Friday. To do all these appointments and be there for my daughter in all things that she needs.
Having more kids seems like a lot at this point. I know I hated being an only child. Granted I have a cousin who is my brother even though we don’t have the same parents. I want my child to have someone connected to her. Granted I don’t know if I have the strength, energy and time for another child. I am going to THUG it out if it happens.
New man in my life has made me feel like I’ve been missing a lot not being in a relationship-. Granted I dated a lot of men who didn’t have there shit together. This guy has his life together, and doesn’t need me for anything. Which is a good place for me to be.
I feel like I am falling in love with this man. I am not telling him about it. That is going to take sometime before he will hear those words. Which is so strange, I will tell strangers online and not the man I might be falling in love with. You guys know how it is. Not ready to put even those intentions out there. I like that he is very interested in what my daughter needs. Granted he doesn’t really play a hand in it. It is nice to have someone to talk to and shoulder to cry on. He did say he would go with me to her tests. It feels good to have someone to depend on, more then anything. Which is something I taught myself not to get use too in the past.