I am home on a Sunday afternoon. I am doing absolutely nothing. I need to get a hobby. My roommates are at church. My roommate mom is upstairs. I am down in the living room watching a corny romantic comedy that I have seen before. The dogs are enjoying my company. Lucky them!!
I changed my profile back to Georgia. I might be optimistic. They haven’t offered me the job. Well corrections they have offered me the job they haven’t met my salary terms. I am not excited for a promotions or the extra responsibilities. I am looking forward to ttc with less financial stress.
I have to say I am a little disappointed that my move is delayed. I was looking forward to going back to Boston. Get back in with family and friends I left. I wasn’t looking forward to the cold and snow at all. New experiences was on my agenda of excitement. I guess I have to make that happen here. There has been some stress where I am living. I am not going to go into that in this blog. I am hoping it calms down and there is more peace.
With this job comes a comfort level at the job. I know the politics and how the place works. I wouldn’t be the new person having morning sickness and needing days off.
I started acupuncture again. I went on Friday. I told her I was beginning my fertility treatments soon. I was relaxed after the treatment. I actually felt my ovaries pounding. Hopefully they are getting prepared for baby making. I couldn’t have planned all this in my life. The twist and turns is not predictable at all. I am praying I get the job with the salary I want, and get pregnant quickly.
I went on a date yesterday. It wasn’t planned. We were talking I reminded him that we live close together. A plan came together to meet at Starbucks. I had to use my GPS of course. I had no idea where I was going. The Starbucks was closed. So technology being what it is. He got on his phone and found another Starbucks. Then we were off. Well we ended up at Applebees. He got some food, I a decaf coffee. I am working on losing this weight. A lot of conversation we are in the parking lot making out. OMG how old am I. Can I say I had fun. The making out moved to the car. Followed with more making out and more conversation.
We met around 8 pm. I didn’t get home until 12:45. I had a great time. I didn’t realize how bad I needed some male attention.
Now the bad news. All we can be, is friends. This man has a lot on his plate. I also have plans of my own. I have no intention with getting involved with a man who has no time for me. Been there got the tee-shirt. It was nice thought. I also don’t know how to back track from making out to friends. I am going to have to work that out some kind of way.
I told him we need to just be friends. He agreed but I am not sure he really agreed. The man can say yes then push the envelope when ever possible. I am not falling for that crap. Okay I am going to try not to fall for that crap. I am not emotionally there to be played with. So life goes on. We do have a date on Sunday. I got to get it together before then.
I know I am obsessive compulsive. When I get stuck on something I am all over it like cheap suit. I am obsesses with Boston now. I have been on all the job websites. Planning and plotting what I will do when I get there. Did I mention all this moving is many months aways. It depends on a lot of factors. I haven’t even called the bank yet and I am plotting.
I heard this quote that I need to take to heart. Understand people instead of forcing them to understand you. That sounds great. I am sick of being understanding of my family and them not doing the same. They know I am OCD when I have a plan. So I am sick of the calm down and wait until comments. My aunt called me an apologized. She said I know how she is a worry wart. I told her it bothers me when I call my friends and they are happy for me. Then I call my family and they don’t seem supportive. Then I hear you know how I am. There we go again. I need to be so understanding.
They are never going to change so I guess I have no choice but to be understanding. So I have to call the bank today. I am nervous. Why I don’t know. I always had to handle my business myself. I even filled out my own financial aid papers for college. I went to the seminar with my aunt. She was going to fill out her sons papers. My parents were not going to be any help except for handing over their tax information. So I have always gone it alone with everything in my life. Why am I so nervous. God made Sunday work with ease. I need to have faith the rest will also.
I guess it wasn’t that bad. I am still alive and nothing drastic happened. I didn’t get to go to the Fernbank!! I had to work late and asked for a rain check. He was nice about it. We rescheduled for next Friday. I hope it works out. He hasn’t called since which is not a good sign. We will see if it is meant to be. Then I had another date with a new prospect for Sunday which got cancelled. How I would love to find one man and stop all this damn dating.
Also my evening at the Cowboy bar was a pure waste of time. The last time I went must have been a random fluke that we all had fun. Most of my group was ready to leave after a while. One friend and I tried to make the best of it and mingle. It didn’t work well at all. The people didn’t seem as friendly as the last time. We even went to a bar close by. When we were walking out a guy suggested a bar. We were willing to try anything. To take advice from a young guy who was clearly drunk and told us he smoked weed. Now thinking about it we were desperate for some fun. We thought why not we are so far away from home as it is. The bar was dead by the time we got there.
The long drive home just made me wish I stayed in watching movies. Now it is Sunday night and I have work coming up quick. I had such high hopes for the weekend. It really sucks when there is a let down. I did buy a scratch ticket out there. My co-worker claims when you are in a random part of the state to buy a scratch ticket. I thought why not. I really have no interest to drive out that way again. When I scratch it maybe it will all have been worth it. I guess I will find out eventually, sense as you know I am not scratching it now.
I talked a to a friend also a possible single mother by choice. She stated she could be in a relationship forever and never live with the guy. That she has lived alone so long, she doesn’t see another person in her space. I have been living alone a long time also. I have to say most of the time I do like it. I don’t know if it is the only child in me. That I feel no obligation to clean when I don’t want to. I can watch what I want on T.V. When I don’t feel like talking or dealing with people I just don’t answer the phone. If I left something in the laundry I can run down half-naked to pick it up.
Would I like a man in my life yes. I say yes with such ease. I haven’t had a consistent man in my life in years. Even my last relationship was more like a long distance relationship. How would I feel about someone in my personal space on a regular space all the time. It would be a big adjustment.
I am not a religious person. I swear god always teaches me lessons. On Monday evening after my eventful weekend things got crazy. Did I mention I had two dates on Monday. I haven’t done much in five months dating this man who travels 90% of the time. Then I have two dates in one day. Go figure. Neither of the dates were a love connection.
So I was still feeling bad about my text message break up. I went to walk MR. Shitty Paints (My dog). We went outside at our usual time. This woman came to me and asked me if I seen her sister. I said who is your sister. She pointed to the townhouse three doors over. I wanted to be nice, but I have been here nine years and it took two years for the woman three doors over to wave HI. She is not tha friendly person. So I tried to say tactfully you sister is kind of bitch. Is it really hard to say hello?
So she goes on to say she hadn’t talked to her since Friday. She didn’t show up to the Sunday family dinner. She is a very quiet person. It wasn’t unusual for her not to call but she would at least text. Now I was a bit concerned. I asked her if she had the key to the house. She said yes. I asked her if she wanted me to go in there with her. She said no she called the police scared of what might be found in the house.
So me being me, I started knocking on the other neighbors doors for information. No one knew anything. I guess everyone goes on with their lives and don’t pay attention to others. I have to admit I do the exact something. I was glad to see I have caring neighbors. No one went back in there house. They all came out to help.
I had one neighbors husband look in the back of the townhouse to make sure no one kicked in the back door. The husband (No I don’t know his name, Damn shame after nine years LOL) asked the sister if she wanted him to go in with her. She said yes. I guess she felt more comfortable with a man. Everyone else was waiting by the door. Then I heard him yell CALL 911. His wife and I ran up the stairs. I had 911 on the phone.
She was unconscious but breathing. I played a amature nurse to the wife as she made sure her air passage was clear. Finally the police showed up. The cop was a straight Ass hole. He insinuated that she might be drunk. Even if she was this was not something to mention in front of her sister who was falling apart and calling family at the same time.
She was still unconscious when they took her in the ambulance. We have no updates to how she is. We didn’t even know her name until Monday. She is only 37 years old. All I have to say is that experience changed me.
EX boyfriend can kiss my ass. I woke up today and I am alive and grateful. All is fine in my world and I am not going to let him steal anymore of my joy.
- Have your pity party and keep it moving (positivelybranded.wordpress.com)
- Pity party. (jaxsworld.wordpress.com)