A lot has gone on, and I feel like I have been neglecting my blog. I told my boss that I was pregnant. I was in a closed-door meeting with the one other employee who knows I am pregnant with my boss. I was nervous, scared and at a loss how to do this. So I thought if she was there with me it would help my confidence. She didn’t know I was going to announce it. She was just what I needed by my side. My boss was in straight shock. He asked me if I was coming back. I froze on how to answer that question. I am the worst in how to answer things properly in jobs not to screw yourself. I tend to talk too much and tell to much. Which of course I did. Then I ask everyone who will listen to tell me if I messed up.
The point is I can’t take the words back so I am going to have to suck up the consequences. I told him I didn’t want to announce it to the whole company until next month. When I make five month officially. He was cool with that and told the president and the VP. So now four people at my company no I pregnant. Only one knows under what circumstances. I am choosing not to answer those kind of questions at all. I did tell my boss I will be a single parent. He said okay, and didn’t ask any more question. When I originally announced it, I felt he thought I was about to get married and be a stay at home mom. That is far from the case.
I cancelled an appointment with my therapist. I reschedule for next week. I work up at 3am and couldn’t go back to sleep. I knew I couldn’t take driving to her office in traffic being so out of it. I have a few things to discuss. When I go she makes me feel at ease. She told me I was one of her patients she didn’t worry about.
I haven’t felt totally right since I started my third week of pregnancy. I am always nauseous. My pants are starting to get tight. I am going to head to Target today to find the Belly Band!! I am hoping it will help these pants last for a while!!!!
Reality TV has never really been my thing. I do find myself watching MTV 16 and pregnant. Last night episode really hit me. Was I that stupid when I was 17 years old. It is so hard to think back. We all go through our lumps in life. We learn from our mistakes. I have to say I never wanted to be a teenage mom and did everything possible to prevent it. Birth control and condoms and I was never pregnant.
I have to say I understand how the girls mom was pissed she was pregnant. She took her to the clinic and put her on birth control. I also don’t want squash anyones dreams of conquering the world even if they have a baby. I swear these girl have no idea what they are getting into. Every episode it seems like each girl is stuck in her own fantasy world. No one is realistic to money or child care or the commitment to raising a child. They are all pie in the sky have never lived life type of young adults.
MTV sure knowns how to pick the train wrecks. I guess that is why there rating is so high. It is hard to not watch a train wreak. You try to look away but you can’t. The episode last night with Alex Sekella I was floored. This girl had no concept of anything. Her mother tried to explain it to her and all she had were tears. Sweetie no time for tears, it is time to grow up. Every time the boyfriend showed up I thought to myself no one can tell this little boy is on drugs. I think he was 16 and always looked smoked out when he showed up. I don’t know how she even slept with him. In ever scene he looked dirty and sweaty and high. I am thinking girl if you want this boy to help you got a screw loose.
He did have a lot of sence when he said we are young with no money adoption is better. It was clear he made his choice. She was trying to make him have the emotions towards the baby she had. No dice he was looking for his next hit. You also never met his parents. Who knows what his story is. I understand why she kept her baby. I can’t imagine giving a child away. But I am going to pray for her and that child. Because I don’t see a bright future.
I not sure I was as stupid as these girls when I was their age. I lived in a community that a lot of girls had babies in their teens. There was also a lot of poverty and people on assitance. Growing up in those circumstance you tend to grow up alot faster. I told myself early I would not be one of them. I had to many things I wanted to do. I know I went through the same teenage bullshit with guys. But I made sure no children were going to come from that drama.
I pray for all those girls on that show. It just shows the tragic lack of reality of our young adults. Unprepared for life and adding additional responsibilities when they can’t even take care of themselves.