I am so happy it is Friday. I been feeling like I haven’t been getting enough sleep. I am sleeping in tomorrow. My cousin is in town for the weekend. He stayed with me last night. He put together my desktop today. Not it isn’t hard but my lazy ass haven’t done it. I am going to acupuncture  Hopefully will attempt my taxes. Get some rest and enjoy life.

You will not believe I won another 60 bucks on my scratch tickets. I didn’t scratch all the ones I bought. You know my gambling self reinvested. This is fun and risky and stupid at the same time  I was in the store and a woman told me she won 10k not to long ago.

The one thing I can say about scratch off. You have just as much chance as anyone else. So Yes I have reinvested the money I have won. I am up to 460 bucks. But each time I have bought myself lunch. Kept 20 bucks out the deal. I haven’t contributed any additional money then what I won. Now I can’t say that when I usually purchase these things.

My co-worker told me I am on a winning streak and need to keep playing. I know he said that because he is just as addicted as I am. Granted I am not using bill money or savings to play. That is where I draw the line.

I met a new guy online. He seems interesting. Since I been online so long I don’t get caught up in it. I always keep hope alive. You truly never know. I am debating about taking soy is0flavones with my femara when I TTC. I haven’t decided yet. I am so trying to stack the deck. Acupuncture  DHEA, COQ10, Dirt Tea, Soy Is0flavones. I am doing everything I can!!!


Thank God It's Friday

Why am I so happy on Fridays. The end to a work week. Rest and relaxation to look forward to. It has been a long hard week. The last two days have been a whole lot better. I think it has a lot to do with my attitude adjustment. I just took on a new task at work. Cleaning up the break room. Anyone who has worked in an office setting knows what I am talking about.

People are so inconsiderate and don’t clean up their mess. I been complaing for years. Now I finally got my hands on the whole thing. I will in listing volunteers to clean it monthly. I guess the control freak in me wanted it done my way from the start.

Who wants to heat and leave their food in nastiness. I know I sure the hell don’t. I have no big plans this weekend. I did talk to a new guy for hours last night. He is in Rhode Island. regardless of what happens it was a nice conversation.

A new idea for me I found on another single mother by choice blog. Thank you ladies on this journey. Your information has been beyond helpful and I so appreciate it.

Co-parenting!! I don’t know much about it. I am going to put my research cap on and get the ins and outs. I told my friend about it!! Might help her journey also. I am not sure it is the way for me. Certainly something to look into. The funny thing if I was staying in GA it might have been a great option. Now moving home to MA I think I want full and total control. I am not making all these sacrifices for nothing!! I am hoping they are all not done in vain.

I am looking forward to my next phase of life. The guy I talked to last night said he wants a relationship and children. Music to my ears. That is nice to hear but will we get along is the big question!!

I still think about what was said at the Single mother by choice meeting. Do not let a relationship slow down your journey. Which I am fully ready to begin getting knocked up ASAP. Once the move and all my ducks are in a row. So we will see where men fall in my life when my ducks are ready. I can tell you right now men are  not high on my priority list. I will pull my ads down with out a problem. Then put them back up when I am ready to date. With a big change to the profile HAS CHILDREN!!! 🙂


Thank God It's Friday

I have been so sleepy. I am glad the weekend is here. I am going to sleep my butt off.

I have been enjoying the single mother by choice forum lately. I guess because I have been reading and commenting. It does help to be involved. I did write another blog. I was told it might be posted on the website or put into their newsletter. Cool, I am excited. I have to say I appreciate so much when someone thinks my writing is worthy. I am am my own worse critic.

I have been watching the movie Plan B over and over. I am trying to reaffirm I can be a single mother by choice. Now that everything is moving into the place this could happen. I have been feeling less strong and more weak to the choices I am about to make.

I am 37 now. I feel it will be full steam ahead when I am 38 or a little before. I told my neighbor about not scratching my tickets because I don’t need extra money right now. He told me if I win put the ticket in a safe deposit box until everything goes through. Wow that is a great idea. I probably still will not scratch them. I don’t even want the thought of the money.

I will just keep my fantasizes for the moment. Moving back in with my mother has been on my mind. It is easy to think about the good things. I know living with anyone is a adjustments. We all got are ways we like things. My mother especially. There are going to have to be limits on both our parts. I am not a 12-year-old she can boss around. So she can not play I am your mother card. I have been an adult for a long time now. I know to her I will always be her baby!!. I know I will understand when I have my own children.At this moment I am optimistic. I was talking to a friend and told her all the things in our lives we verbally claimed a long time ago. The laws of attraction are working.  I need to get back into that law.


Thank God It's Friday

I am so happy it is Friday. I have absolutly nothing planned but regular errands. I sometimes think how my life would change with children. Especially having them alone. Would I be up for the challenge?  Will I be able to find a village? I can be a loner, I will have to break that character flaw.

Doctor dude and I have not been connecting lately. He said he cell phone was down last weekend. Since that break in communication I see a lack luster from him.

I am not crying over it. He was my fantasy dude. Until he makes himself a reality I just used him to fantasize about.

Sitting on sperm bank website so much can’t be healthy! I found myself there a few times this week. All I need is the cash and I am ready to make a purchase.

On the online dating front. A few interesting characters. Nothing to move my mind over. Online dating has so many ups and downs. I am at a down moment.  There are random times I am going on date after date. What I hate is the recycled guys.

Yes I have been online dating entirely to long. With the time I spent out there I run into some of the same guys over and over. So this loser contacted me again. He is beyond arrogant. Which is easy to spot with the hundred of pictures he has of himself on a dating site.  We had talked once a year ago. He wanted to let me know I was attractive and tall like him and we would look good together. Really I thought, that is his recipe for a relationship.

I have no time for men who are full of them selves. I been there done that got the tee shirt. So his note this time stated well I am  still on here give him a chance. I told him no I am good. I will stay on a dating site forever plus ten years before I go on a date with this man.

I am single and alone but not desperate. I don’t need a man like that. He has no idea I think he is a big ass. No need to argue with a stranger. He can live his life and I can live mine. Hopefully I won’t get anymore emails from him. I appreciate he finds me attractive but I need a lot more than that. How about talking to me longer then ten minutes!!