Where have I been!!

I am in a rut. That time out-of-town put me so off-key. I haven’t really been exercising. I swear I lose motivation like people lose their keys. I am going to force myself to go to the gym today.  I want to be married. I say that after attending two weddings. The last one everyone in the damn place was married. I thought, wow no single people come to weddings anymore. My aunt said the next wedding will be mine. I told her I doubt it. I am not that kind of girl. I will go to Vegas, or the justice of the peace. I am not a big fan of so much extra to get married. I don’t think I ever thought of having a wedding. I guess I am strange.

I know a few people who would love to see me get married. I would love to see myself get married also. I can’t predict the future you never know. I am not doing to well dating. I met this guy online of course. We had a great conversation one day. Then the next day he is sending my 1-900 text message. I was so disgusted.

So on the baby front. Which is my real focus at the moment. After I have my twins I will worry about a man in my life. I have no idea if I am pregnant. Haven’t been focused on it at all. Which hay they say that is when it happens. I am 9DPO ( nine days past ovulation).  I would buy a pregnancy test, but with my overly aggressively trying to pay of bills. My checking account is lower than I like to see it.

We all know when I buy one I end up buying many. I am just going to wait to see if my period shows up.

Vacation needed!!

I have actually cleaned parts of my house. I went to the grocery story. I swear I spend too much money in the grocery store. I know I over shop. I don’t know how to fix that. Well I decided I am making veggie soup. It will be low cal and help with my hot liquid fetish. I love hot liquids, like coffee, tea, hot cereal. It will be my first attempt at making soup. I also bought other things I have never cooked before and going to give it a try. Zucchini spaghetti and egg-plant. I am working on the healthy overhaul to my life. I begin tomorrow.  I will have time to prepare these things and start over with my couch to 5k.

The out-of-town trip messed me up big time. I am so tired. I create a project and just can’t let it go. I am making a video for my cousin wedding. From pictures and some video I took at the wedding. The video parts look crappy. I used my phone and small flip video camera. Which doesn’t take crisp video in the dark. They will appreciate it, and I can’t wait to see what they say when they see it.

I have a welcome party and a wedding to go to today and tomorrow. I am so tired I feel like I could sleep for days. No chance on that until Sunday maybe. I am going home, getting as pretty as possible. Granted I don’t like my shoes. I bought two new dresses for the occasion. Both under 20 bucks. Actually one was on clearance and I saw a little stain and she gave me another 20% off. Which totally works for me. No one is going to notice that little stain. Now the shoes is a whole another issues. I have big ass feet. A size 10 when I am skinny and a size 11 when I am not. So we are not in the not stage. I noticed the new fashion thing these days are the shoes. I have pretty much basic color shoes. I use to also make the mistake and buy cheap shoes allot. So I decided no more. I gave away most of my crappy cheap shoes and I have a bunch of black shoes.

I have never been a fashionista a day in my life. I did make the effort to look for some fancy shoes. NO LUCK AT ALL. Oh well it isn’t my wedding. Black shoes it is. I did make an effort which is so unlike me. My eyebrows need to be done. I might swing over to the mall after work to get them cleaned up. I am not trying to look like a wilder beast. I might check out a few more shoe places in the mall. I am a friend to the groom. He is my cousin friend and sold my house. I know he is going to have some cute single guys there. So I need to put my best foot forward. I could flirt at my cousin’s wedding but that was it. The rule of naught dating his friends, I do understand. Still sucks in my mind. I guess he is spearing me but still.

I miss dancing with my  Xbox. There are not enough hours in the day. After I finish this wedding video project. Which looks like it could be up to 30-40 min long. After seeing how the video turned out. When some money comes in my life. Not like I can’t put it on a credit card. I don’t want to do that. When some disposable money comes in my life. I am going to work on getting a better video camera and video editing software. Another gift to me. With paying things off aggressively buying those kinds of things don’t seem on the agenda.

I still have some lottery tickets to scratch. You never know. I could be telling you a whole different story next week!! Praying for a financial windfall.

What has been UP!

Well four days in a hotel room with my mother was a bit much. I did have a great time at my cousin wedding. I was flirted with and enjoyed every minute. Granted there has been a hard rule since high school. I am not allowed to date any of his friends. I did make a hook up. Yes my lonely ass playing cupid with others lives. I think one will work out. I am not sure about the other.

So I have to say I was flabbergasted. At the bar one night where all the folks from college congregated. I was fat and awkward in college. My cousin on the hand was in his element. Well this tall sexy man, who everyone had a crush on in college. Was whining to the women he is 40 and wants a wife. I told him I would never thought in a million years that I would be having this conversation with him. Then the four women in this conversation deducted the reason he wasn’t in a relationship. He had all these ridiculous requirements.

Good times were had and I enjoyed seeing these people without being fat and feeling out-of-place. So this one particular guy. We went to college with him and his older brother. His older brother was the nerdy awkward guy. Which is actually my type. The younger brother is the suave, with crazy swagger who cold talk your drawers off in minutes type. I told him I liked his brother back in the day. Which I did and he liked me. What happened was he had tried to talk to four girls before me. They were all discussing it and I couldn’t bring myself to be the last one on the list. I was 18 in a new environment and didn’t want to be talked about.

I been talking to him on Facebook instant message. He is in Afghanistan working as a contractor. So maybe he will take me on a date when we are both back in Boston.

Well let me tell you how pissed off I was Monday. I got the double line. Yes, it worked out I got the happy face when I got back home. Well I text my sperm donor all damn day no response. Then I decided to email him. He said he left his phone at home, but didn’t say anything else. I know I turn into the crazy sperm lady during these couple of days of the month. But shit this is what he signed up for. I am not dating him so I have no idea how to handle this crap.

I then drafted him a kiss off letter. Now his ass wants to respond. He apologized and said if it wasn’t to late we could do it on Tuesday. Which actually wasn’t to late. Shit I don’t know it might be right on time. So we did the insemination at noon. Which actually worked out because I was off work and he works down the street from his house. So I didn’t have to run over there at night in traffic.

Still me being me, I had to say something. I told him he needs to do better with communication. He said I can’t help my job. I wanted to scream I don’t give a damn about your job. Just don’t have me waiting.

Whatever, life is never easy. My problem is I am comfortable with him. I don’t want to have to start this process over again. He is my stud until I am ready to roll out. I know he can get me pregnant. I just need it to stick. Well blogosphere that is what is up with me. I hope things are going great for you. Anyone trying to have babies much baby dust to you!!!!


Dating slump!

Dr. Slump

Dr. Slump (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I haven’t been on a date since I broke up with asshole. Yes that is his new name. He contacts me randomly which pisses me off. I told him this last time I don’t want to keep in contact with him. We will see if he call again. Knowing him he will. Then doctor dude disappeared.

I have to admit I haven’t really persuade a date. I have mixed feelings about meeting anyone in GA. I don’t want anything to spark feelings when I am trying to move 18 hours away driving. Then I have my personal ads changed to MA. I get a lot of message saying contact me when you get here. I do understand why they don’t want to be bothered with a non-resident.

It puts me in limbo. I haven’t flirted with anyone in a long time. I miss flirting!!! I miss the human touch also. That is an entirely different problem.

I am ready to go. I don’t have my duck in a row at all. The short sale paper work hasn’t even been approved yet. I am in the beginning stages of this process and it really sucks.

I also have been Facebook stalking a few people. I know I should be ashamed. My noiseness got the best of me. These are people I don’t even know that well. One person I was waiting for her wedding pictures. I have to say I loved her dress. I am not even into weddings.

Who is this person?. I am starting not to recognize myself. I have never been into wedding or stalking people on Facebook. I barely go on Facebook.  Something is going on with me and I want it to stop. I want the old me back!! Where is she???

I was talking to a SMC friend and we decided full steam  ahead with baby plans. No man has shown up to change the plans for her. I am in the same boat.  I would have to say I have been living a very singleton life. The dog and I hang out most of the time.

On a good note my back is starting to feel better. Not totally 100%, but at least I can get out of chair and not scream.

What happens after the wedding?

Wedding Dress For Happy Couple in Love

Image by epSos.de via Flickr

I was talking to a friend about the unhappy married people we know. There is a running theme that they wanted the wedding more than the marriage. Me being the self-proclaimed tom boy, I don’t even want a wedding. If I happen to stumble on the man for me, I want to elope.

Why waste all that money and time at this point. I do understand the princess for a day and all that crap. The people I know who have planned their wedding always seem to be unhappy on the day of the wedding. Something goes wrong and they don’t seem to enjoy the event at all.

I am not that close to a lot of family members. So I would not be willing to pay money per plate for people to eat, that I do not talk to on a regular basis. That is just me. To each their own. There is one particular girl who was so damn happy while planing their wedding. The moment they moved in with each other she has been frown central.

I know relationships are hard. I also know living with someone is a challenge. I have lived with my share of boyfriends. I don’t know her intentions. I just have a feelings she was more into the wedding than the marriage.

People get married for all types of reasons. Some marriages have lasted far beyond my anticipation. Something is making them work. Or they or living in madness and hanging on for what ever reason.

I can’t judge these people who knows what I would do under the correct circumstances. Sometimes I understand how a few of my friends are envious of my single life.  I guess I am starting to realize the grass isn’t always greener.