Baby Project #26

Today was my second insemination. I have been on a good plain. I had four follicles that did release by the second insemination. The doctor seemed confident which is a great feat for this doctor. She has never been overly optimistic.

1) She told me to get an OBGYN and make an appointment for 10 weeks. (Just in Case)

2) She is willing to do forth insemination instead of three. Granted I don’t know if I can afford four. But the fact that she is optimistic of achieving pregnancy makes me happy.

3) She wants to try Clomid if I want to do Three insemination. If I want to do four then she will do the letrozole for the third do to my good response.

All these this things are optimistic conversation.

I took her suggestion and went to the hypnotherapy which I really enjoyed the appointment. If I could afford it, I would go once a week. I can’t afford that at all. 🙂 The appointment was positive. I loved that she listen to me. She would say babies because she knows I want twins. She also got me started on my Laws of Attraction mission I was on.

She had a plaque on her desk that said IF YOU CAN DREAM IT YOU CAN HAVE IT!!! I am ready for my dreams to come true.

Doctor dude dropped out of sight again. Which I am a little pissed about. I agreed to go to this bridal shower to meet his ass. Well My aunt bought the ticket and I will try to enjoy myself regardless.

The ex contacted me again. I swear I know this man so well. I asked him what the hell does he want from me? He claims nothing. I told him that is a lie or he could finally cut ties and not get in contact with me again.

He asked me if I didn’t love him anymore. I told him I couldn’t say that because I am not an untruth. Then he said do I want him never to contact me again. Now that I can say yes. You are no good for me. Then he asked if we could be a friend. I told him he doesn’t deserve my friendship. Which all I been through with him, he isn’t any kind of friend.

I was a little upset with the conversation. I didn’t let it linger, and moved on to I am living my dreams. I am working on my vision board again. I am working on my life and what I can dream I can have. That is a new lease on life.

 

Baby project #14

 

Second insemination went smoothly. Five follicles have released  I was laying there thinking HELL YES!! It sounded like good news. My doctor is very dry. She even had a great tone to her voice. She did say if this didn’t work, she wouldn’t change the protocol at all.

 

The social worker and I talked after my 15 min of laying there. I told her I was excited by the number of follicles. She said it is a good sign. How good are they and will they create a baby is the big question.

 

The cervical cap came out easily last night. She placed another one in today. I wanted to go to my acupuncturist  today.  I will be there tomorrow. The last time I was there she said they got robbed. When she left late at night. So I decided against going because I wouldn’t get there until late. I don’t want to put myself or my acupuncturist in danger. Her husband is out of the country for a while.

 

The social worker said try not to worry about it. If I can pull that off I need to write a book. I am going to assume right at this moment I am pregnant with my twin girls. Here is to the Law of Attraction!!!

 

Baby Project #13

I did it. I had my frozen sperm placed in my uterus  Now I have six mature eggs. I was blown away when she said six. She still gives me a 10% chance. Which I thought was funny when she said the medicine did great. She even used the words this increases your chances for success  Then to still come up with the number of 10% chance.

She did say that I reacted great to the medication. She didn’t expect me to react that well due to my test. Then I got the multiple talk again. Because there are so many eggs. She said people concerned about multiplies she would tell them not to do the second insemination. I said in a very serious tone. “I will be here tomorrow. She said do you have any questions. I said “no”.

What you, no questions. You are the queen of questions. I said I am working on not worry about it. She said , good job!!! She also hit on a good point. She said I am sure you have done a ton of research. I told her to the point of obsession  Now is the time to lay back and let it happen. I am still looking online. It is hard not to look online and see what happened to other people. I am in original so I can’t mirror their experience after mine.

She put on a cervical cap. I hope I can get that thing out. Never used any device like that before. I am officially on my way. I still have the WTF did I just do in my head!!!

 

Baby Project #12

My doctor’s appointment was 9:20 am. I went to work because it is easy to get there from my job than my house. Damn Atlanta traffic. I swear every time that thing is in my VJAY it is a new form of discomfort.

The good news is I know have four mature eggs. I also have some small ones. I asked her about multiplies. She said I have a 2% chance of multiplies. Even with that 2% chance they made sure I signed that waiver that I know what I am getting my butt into.

Tomorrow will be my first insemination. I did not ovulate myself. I got the trigger shot straight in the ass. So she told me to check my ovulation tonight. When I get the positive it will show the medicine is working.

I asked her a question. She said are you just asking questions to ask questions. Because you know the answer. I should have been mad, because shit you should answer whatever question I ask.
My mother does the same thing when she is nervous. She asks the same questions over and over again. So I told her I am nervous. She then stated there is nothing else you can do at this point. It is not in your hands anymore. All you can do is show up to the appointments. You have four eggs we just need one to be good.  I feel so helpless.

On a lighter note I haven’t taken down my personal ad. I know I should, I am just not ready. Well I met this new guy online. He actually lives down the street from me. I was honest about my baby making journey. I wanted to give him a chance to run if it was too much for him. So far so good. We have been chatting for a couple of days.

I would hate to be a bad romantic comedy. The Jennifer Lopez movie where she met the guy the day of insemination. Life is stranger than fiction. I can’t claim to know what will happen in my life. I am surprised every time.

Baby Project #11

Went to the doctors and I have three follicle ( eggs). She did the ultrasound without saying too much. She waited until after pushing that thing all around my VJAY.

So they are not big enough yet. She wants to trigger my ovulation on day 12. I usually ovulate day 11 according to them. Day 10 according to me. Granted I have no idea how there counting is done. I seem to be a day off. So this means I need to check my ovulation. If I get the smiley face earlier then they predict I will be having the insemination that day and the next day. Yes two insemination one day a part.

I asked her if I would need the trigger shot even if I ovulate on my own. She said she would still give it to me. I didn’t totally understand why, but I am going with it.  So they had the discussion (very brief) about multiples. I do have three follies up there. Hey I am praying for my twins. So was half listening. It was very in and out see you next time type of appointment. I was so spacey on the way back to work I went the wrong way. I could have been to work about 15 minutes earlier.

I swear I got everyone praying for me. I am going to my acupunturist this weekend. I was going to go shopping tonight for clothes. I need to be home at 8pm to take my letrozole. I am trying my best to stay on point.

I also got two shots of Menopur.  I have no idea what that is supposed to do. Granted I am sure I got the paper work some where. It has been so hard to wrap my head around this. I am looking at this prayer on my computer. Don’t worry about anything, instead pray about everything.

God please send me my children!!! I am praying at my desk. TGIF!!! I am so ready for the weekend. Next week will be a big week for me. INSEMINATION WEEK!!!!

Baby Project #4

I got a double line on the Wondfo ovulation kit. The clear blue easy no happy face. I think the Wondfo is more sensitive.

Mr. Man is out-of-town until tomorrow. We will see if another attempt gets underway. I am not banking on it. On a brighter note I am going dancing with the girls tomorrow night. I feel fat and don’t really feel like it.

I do need to get out of the house. I want to go and dance and have fun. I been spending to many weekends running errands and not trying to have fun.

I had to pick another damn sperm donor. This is getting ridiculousness  My third choice that is CMV – is not out of quarantine.

The bank I am using is small and less expensive as the rest. So I am calling to get the updates of inventory. There website clearly is not updated on a regular basis.

My right side has been spasming for about an hour. It is tingle more than a pain. It kind of feel electric. I am not sure if this my ovaries telling me it is working. Or some blow back from the HSG test. It isn’t painful as much as annoying.

It is Friday and I am happy. I am going to try to make it to acupuncture, try to do the baby dance,pay some bills aggressively, go dancing and do my taxes.

I am trying to accomplish a lot this weekend. Hopefully I am successful. I did scratch several of my lottery tickets. I won 30 bucks. Of course I reinvested  Got to play to win.

 

Consultation

Today was my consultation. I took the day off because I had other things to accomplish. Plus I had several vacation days I needed to use. I also just wanted a day off.  I walked into the office with a bunch of emotions. The counselor was very nice informative and positive. This is not a reproductive center, which I felt were money-grubbing. This is a non-profit women’s center. They cater to lesbian and Single Mother By Choice. She said I was doing several things correct and was very impressed.

1) Acupuncture

2) Supplements (Prenatal, Folic acid, CoQ-10, DHEA, Fish Oil)

3) Periods Tracked for A Year

4) Ovulation tracked for a four months (Tracked twice a day)

5) Sperm Donor picked out

She was impressed with my knowledge and knowing what I wanted. I even discussed what she said in the seminar I went to last year. What I learned from my two hours. This is not going to be cheap. It is going to be far more expensive than I ever expected. I am having a hard time with the financial part, but there is no turning back. I have a clear credit card ready and waiting.

The good news she said I was a good weight. Which blew my mind. I gained 20 pounds I told her I wanted to lose 40 pounds. She told me I would be too thin. My body mass is fine for having a baby. You don’t want to be to thin or to heavy. When I said I needed to lose weight she gave me a dirty look and said “I don’t think so”. She told me she is not telling me to eat french fries everyday, but I don’t need to lose weight right now.

That took a lot off my mind. I have been obsessed about my weight for 20 years. I don’t want to gain anymore unless I am pregnant, but the whole conversation put a smile on my face.

I know my friends feel I been obsessed for over a year. Which they would not be wrong. I advised a few people to walk in my foot steps if they wanted to achieve a baby. Most put it on hold. It was their choice. I didn’t want to put it on hold. I guess I wanted to feel like I was doing something while waiting to figure out how the hell I would afford having a baby. Now after this consultation I am happy I was obsessed. It worked in my favor big time. I might have my first insemination in March. The only reason it might be on hold is due to the doctor having a vacation planned.

She told me I had a third of my testing already completed. I thought to myself YES!!! that is great. She gave me a paper to get blood work on the third day of my period. Then we will make an appointment with the doctor. I am on my way.

Now the cost, there was four options. Each more aggressive and more costly. I am such an aggressive person with lack of patients. I am ready to go all in. I talked to another SMC and she said I know two people who got pregnant with a non medicated IUI. Which she is correct. I am still ready to go all in. Now the Doctor will look over my test and give me her opinion. After that I will make a decision. I was told regardless of what the doctor advised I can do the protocol  I want. It is totally my choice and that was refreshing.

I also put the money down and signed a lease on an apartment today. Yes I will be living alone in about two weeks. I am excited and sad. I miss having my own space that I can make my own rules. I will miss my roommates and the fun we had. It was nice to have people concerned about me. Living alone I didn’t have that. When I lived in my house, I had neighbors I didn’t visit in months. So being around people everyday was new. I really enjoyed it, but now with the added person and extra stress of the situation it is time for me to go. All in all a good day. Now waiting for aunt flow to show up so I can get my testing done. I am praying to get pregnant with my twins the first insemination. God brought me this far!!!!

 

I don’t want to wait another month!!!

I finally got the happy face. Yes my method of using the cheap OPK than confirming with the expensive Clear-blue easy works. This morning I thought I was going to get the happy face. The cheap OPK looked like two solid double line. The second line might have been lighter. Well I used two clear blue’s to find no happy face.

I knew I was going to see that happy face soon. I tested tonight the lines were both dark on the cheap OPK. So I used another expensive Clear-blue to confirm. Yeppie a happy face. Now 12 to 48 hours I will be ovulating. I want to put my soy isoflavones to work. I want to achieve the BFP.

Here is the issue the boyfriend is three hours away working. I am hoping he will make it to my house tonight. I do not want to wait another month. I know he has to work. I appreciate he has a job in this economy. Every time I watch the news my heart sinks for all those with no employment. I just need to catch a break. I am going to throw up smoke signals to the heavens to get this man here.

Related articles

• OPK Success (honesty556.wordpress.com)
• Opk Again!! (honesty556.wordpress.com)
• Acupuncture Round 3 (honesty556.wordpress.com)
• Soy Isoflavones Day 3 (honesty556.wordpress.com)

Weekend Activities

My friends birthday activities was very fun. We went to a jazz club. The service was really bad. I didn’t eat anything, but I couldn’t get a second refill on my three dollar soda.

I did have fun hanging with the girls. We laugh we joked and had a great time. I met some new people and tried to play matchmaker with a guy at the bar and one of the women at my table. I have no idea if it will work out, but I tried. My friend got drunk. It was funny, because I don’t think she meant to. Three guys bought her shots for her birthday. I was the designated driver. Since I don’t drink it wasn’t a big deal. On the way home she was falling asleep in the car. I am glad she enjoyed her birthday.

On the baby front. I am tracking my ovulation. Also trying to coordinate the boyfriends work schedule with my ovulation schedule. I am trying to stay positive that it will work out. Stressing does not help with trying to get pregnant.

I am also wondering if soy isoflavones will push my ovulation back.  The RE told me that clomid pushes it back 90% of the time. If soy is supposed to do the same thing as clomid, than it is possible.

Well I am tracking twice a day not to miss it. I tried doing the basal temp thing. I was not consistent and couldn’t remember to take my temp before I went to the bathroom. I gave it the good old college try. I am keeping hope alive!!!

OPK Success

I have some good news to report. I found my LH surge finally. I am not as broken as I thought I was. Boyfriend isn’t in town to take advantage of this surge. He is in VA helping his mom. She is a victim of hurricane Irene. She just got power after a week. He emailed me because there is no cell phone service. I am glad his mom is ok.

So what I did to find the surge.  I tried the regular way for two months.  First with the equate version OPK test from Wal-Mart. That didn’t work. Then I thought because it was cheap I had no success. Next was Clearblue Easy OPK after $40.00 no happy face. I was not happy at all. I followed the directions on the box.  I decided I am not like normal people and those test directions are based on the average woman. Well I am not average which I found out. I found a website that told me to test twice a day. I was not going to spend the money for Clearblue easy to do that.

I went to Amazon.com to look for a cheaper option. I found Wondfo One Step Ovulation kits. There were 50 tests for $10. How could I beat it? Then I went to WEB MD Ovulation calendar to track my fertile period. I also went to Wal-Mart to pick up disposable cups to collect my sample. I noticed is my cycle had changed over the months. One month 28 the next month 23. Web MD uses three months of your cycle to decide your ovulation period. My fertile period was a week earlier than I thought.

I started testing twice a day and got two dark lines. I thought it might be a fluke so I tested it again. I got another dark line. You couldn’t believe my excitement. I still had a few Clearblue easy left and did that test. Finally I got a happy face!!!!